Niggatry At It's Finest: The I-Hop Adventure

Part I

Today is National Pancake Day and I-Hop is/was giving out free pancakes. Of course there was a catch and you had to buy a drink and make a donation. My friends and I made two trips today, once in the morning and then in the evening, because we love the word free. The first trip was unsuccessful in the pancake department but however, it was very successful in the pedophile section. This guy, who claimed to be a former recruiter for LSU [he wasn't lying, he knew our dean and it was confirmed], decided to strike up a conversation with my friend and I. This man looked sus as hell and asked us if we were cutting school...mind you there are a billion public school kids in the damn I-Hop so obviously not in school while we had a free. This I-Hop was so packed it was hard to move so we were basically cornered by this man. I panic when I am cornered by grown ass scary men so I started having brain vomit. Every question he asked, my dumbass went and answered. I probably woulda gave him my social security number but I don't remember that shxt *phew*. EN-TEE-WHO! He asks if he could sit and eat his pancakes with us...*blink* *blink* *side eye*. Grown ass man...young teenage girls. Now if that don't sound like some R. Kelly type shxt I don't know what does. That's when my sense kicked in and I stumbled and I'm like "uhh I don't know, we're not staying". Do you know this fool insisted on sitting with us??? The I-Hop lady asked us if we were being served and we were like yes and told her it was 4 at our table [which it was], this bafoon started yelling "NO IT'S 5!" Negro no it is not! Are you delusional?!?!?! We then made our way through the crowd and hid in the bathroom, panicking like no other. My friend calls up the headmaster because the guy gave us his business card with a little message for our dean. We hid behind the wall until it is almost time for class and eventually one of my other friends goes and cancels the order. Coming out, I stumble upon my old prep counselor. She told us that the man had been talking to every young high school looking girl alll morning and if she could she would have gotten a picture of him with her Iphone. We chat for a little then leave scared as hell. Scared as we were, we realized the man was in front of us and we followed him to his car. I got a pic of his car and the license just in case [you can never be too sure]. He was so fkn sus it was ridiculous. He looked like everywhere he went Chris Hansen from To Catch a Predator needed to walk out and greet his suspect ass. Smh.

I-Hop Part II

I will not speak of the fools from my school who pissed me off with their stupid ass attitudes *side eye*, however part II is about these hoodrat bxtches who skipped out on their bill after I-Hop done gave them free pancakes. Smh. I was unaware that their friends were still there and my friend and I glady had a convo with the manager about what they looked like. So we are enjoying the pancakes, sippin' on our drinking and having fun convo for a good hour or so until I look out the window and see the group of rat skeezers congregating outside. They are making a scene and then the one with the Malibu Barbie weave starts pointing at us in this creepy ass fashion. I get scared as fxck because I can't fight, well at least I don't know if I can and my piercing was fresh so I wasn't trying to get knocked in the face. Then I alert the others to look and Queda gets tight and starts gesturing at the girl. She gets up and points to herself and the girl is like 'Yeah you!'. I am praising the lord because I swore up and down I was about to get my ass whooped. The girl obviously did not know how tall Queda is because when she got up they all scattered like project roaches. Homegirl was outside talking and gesturing like she was really gonna fight Queda. Smh silly hoes these days.

Well that was the first time I went to I-Hop as a teen and very last time...until free pancake day returns again.