Why Are You Still Here?

There are some people who are constantly on gossip sites or on television that really have me wondering...why are you still here? You'll be sure to see some familar faces here:

Christina Milian


Every 5 minutes I see these two on a gossip site. I am tired of seeing your face Christina. At least Chicken Little [The Dream] has an album out and a hot song with Kanye West but what are you doing with your life? No clubbing, showing up at events, shopping and being glued to Chicken Little does not count. You are a singer and an actress [I use that term loosely]. Either get your ass in a studio or in a movie or get your ass out of the "lime light" because you are useless until that point. This is my belief on celebrities: unless you are singing or acting, stay your ass at home and do not emerge unless you are entertaining me. That's wtf you get paid for so do it. I get my ass up every morning for work but you do everyday shit and expect to get paid? EENK! WRONG! Get your life together heifer. Make music or disappear.

Ray-J


Don't even get me started on this one here. Brandy's little brother has been upsetting my eyes for a minute now. So you make a sex tape with Kim Kardashian and all of a sudden your famous and you have money? Well then Kim K make a stop at my house next time you're in NYC. Then VH1 went and gave this fool a show so he could display his hoe tactics and debauchery for the world to see. WHY? You have no album. You are not entertaining, you're a perv. The last song you had sounded like a cat being strangled in a dark alley. Ray-J is about as useless as New Jersey. Please do me a favor and disappear.

Paris Hilton


I've been wanting to remove her useless ass since I was in 8th grade. Do I really need to rant about this first crotch? BE GONE! If only the stars knew how luck they are that they are blind. [get it her song 'stars are blind'].

Spencer & Heidi


Words cannot express the dislike I harbor for these baboons. The epitome of useless. The epitome of everything that is wrong with the world. I have never seen people so desperate for fame and all they are gaining is hate but then again...people still know them. Heidi and her cheap videos and bad songs. Spencer and his bad attitude and leprachuan lookin ass. I cannot take them and their antics. They call up God's name in vain for their stupidity. I just don't know what to say. I just need them to GO AWAY! Tie some bricks to Heidi's boobs and let her sink in the ocean. Steal Spencer's little pot of gold. Just remove them.

If Only Life Was This Easy...

As easy as your daughter woman!

So this Polish woman is suing an Egyptian hotel because apparently her daughter became impregnated by loose sperm in the hotel's swimming pool during their recent vacation. She claims that her 13 year old daughter did not have any sexual encounters with those of the opposite sex so there for the pool is to blame...

-_-

How stupid is this woman? You think your lil fast ass daughter was knocked up by a pool? If objects are giving out babies then I should have been about 5 months pregnant by my school's photography dark room at the rate sperm is going. And wouldn't the chlorine in the pool have killed this random sperm? And if there was random sperm in said pool, who did it belong to because this man has super sperm! If every teen could pull the wool over their parents' eyes like this, there wouldn't be wonderful shows like 16 & Pregnant on MTV. This is a show I'd like to see: True Life I Am Having A Baby From Random Pool Sperm. I would DVR bad boy so quick. Listen here lady, you know, I know, and your lil baby skank know very damn well that random pool sperm did not knock her up. It was some lil Egyptian boy who works at the hotel who she thought was delicious and he clearly thought she was smashable so they commenced to conceive this lil accident. The sperm came from the pool alright, THE POOL BOY!

I wish my future 13 year old would come at me with some excuse like this.
I WISH MY 13 YEAR OLD WOULD BE PREGGY AT ALL!
Oh I'ma show her ass knocked up. Knock her upside a damn wall with foot. And then I'ma tar and feather the lil fck that stuck his plug into her socket.

People...love your children. Make them watch pregnancy videos. Scare the shxt outta them like they did to me in 6th grade.

WELP! I'm gone to take a walk with Krys.
PAYCE!

I Refuse...pt. 2

I am convinced my friend Krystyna is trying to kill me. I did a post on one of my biggest annoyances: hood child typing. Krystyna has taken it upon herself to be my watchful eye on the net, emailing me the foreign language known as hood speak. Now I commend her for her for braving this horrendousness and bringing this tom foolery to me BUT I physically hurt when I try to read the sentences these humans write. My heart shrivels up and I feel like I am having an asthma attack. Take a gander at this...this...I don't even know how to explain it. Prepare you brain for a serious exercise.

Email #1

[AWAY] ||HoM3w0oRk Fl0oW||
CaNt H3lP BuT ThiiNk SoM3tHiiN BoUt 2 HiiT Da FaN....HmMmM...YuNg BoYz D3s3 DaYz MaN SmFH...ii CaNt H3lP BuT LaUgH..PaTii3nTliii WaiiTiiN 4 DiiS W33k3nD So ii CaN PaRtY HaRd && R3lii3v3 DiiS StR3sS!!!
Dr0oP Ya iiSh___
{[iiCoN]} Da HaNdSoM3 N3pH3W
XXXGLAMOROUSM3XXX

How long did it take this chick to type this? Since the fck when has 3 become a letter and words have multiple vowels? SO many errors but the one that set me off was 'PaTii3nTliii'. WHAT THE FCK IS THAT? AS FAR AS I KNOW THAT IS NOT HOW THAT WORD IS SPELLED! HELL THAT ISN'T A WORD! I cannot take this foolishness. Why?


Email #2

Hood Child: cc a consularr iff yu have sleep pawbsxz
Hood Child: [AWAY] ||Uqq..ATL a lil ² Grass-e 4 mi..need mi city baq!|
Hood Child: [[ii LOV& Mii B&STii& TR&S ² MUCh]]
Hood Child: ___HUNii& DiiP___
Hood Child: ExXxXxXxX Catergoriiee..35|89..OO SZNAP!!!!!!!
Hood Child: yu need sme tyme mangement
-------------------------------- 7:12 pm --------------------------------
[AWAY] ||A i1/4"Aa,(R) MAN..Mii N Mii UNCL& JuST W&NT A^2. DA GYM..SMFH..N&VA AG&N..SHOWA FLOW!| [[ii LOV& Mii B&STii& TR&S A^2 MUCh..Buht ii aint nevaa calliin him agen]] YO THIS YA BOY THE PRINCE TRES' TAKEN OVER MY BESTIE JAY...


Pawbsxz? Catergoriiee??? Uqq? Grass-e?? Sznap?? AND SINCE THE FCK WHEN HAS '&' REPLACED THE LETTER 'E'???? I'm so fcking done. I refuse this bullshxt, I refuse it with all my might. I REBUKE THEE!!!

You already know the deal, gotta hit em with the Jay & Bey:

NOOOO FKN BUENO!

Oh and by the way, if you recognize this convo and know that this is your away message, do not come at me with any foolishness because I will give you some choice words that you cannot elongate with pointless consonants and vowels.

Black History Month Is A Serious MUST

Well on my return from D.C I was greeted with the protest of The New York Post. These fools printed a very much racist cartoon mocking the 200 lbs. monkey attack and Obama & the stimulus bill. I was told that they potrayed Obama as the monkey and from then I knew that it was a definite problem. When I finally saw the cartoon and the sorry ass apology that was released I was outraged. That was the worst apology I have ever encountered in my life. "Sometimes a cartoon is just a cartoon"...no it isn't. Not when a monkey is being used to represent someone and a BLACK person at that, where in America a monkey or ape has been used to describe a black male. Read Native Son, hell look at all the caricatures. "The monkey represented the stimulus bill"...but the cop saying "they are going to have to find someone else to write that stimulus bill" doesn't make it seem as if the monkey was intended to be Obama? Whatever. I don't accept that bullshxt of an excuse. Shxt like this shows that there is still a serious need for Black History month because people do still think in this backwards way even though we have a black president in office. There are towns where people are not getting the most positive picture of black folks and they need black history month to show them that we are more than just a bunch of thugs and whores on BET, MTV, and ,VH1. We need black history month to counter act tom foolery like this. We need black history to reflect on not only the good but the bad that people try to hide. From the golliwogs to the moron rapper who thanks the slave masters for bringing us to America to get this money and ice [yes Soulja Boy I am calling your bitch ass out], we need to counter act those things. For if we do not know our past, how the hell are we going to know our future?

Once again this has been the most uneventful black history month in my opinion and with 6 days left it needs a spark.