I Ripped My Pants...-_-

See I thought my day couldn't get any worse but oh it did. Not only was I late to work thanks to the muthafcking MTA, I ripped my pants. But let me go off on the MTA for a minute. So I get on the 2 train today all ready to go. I realize we left 2 minutes late and 2 minutes goes a long way when you live in New York City. Then after 4 stops the train sits. And sits. And sits. Oh wait for it...AND SITS! The conductor makes an announcement about the silly train traffic that always seems to occur. We move along. And it sits. And sits. Then it moves and stops in a tunnel...you already know the drill. The conductor comes on the speak is like 'The Lexington line is having some delays and problems, when the train gets to Atlantic Ave. either stay on or go to another train because this will continue all morning'.
-_- Nice. So I get off and I walk to the N, W, R, D, & V train platform with a million other people. Three trains came back to back and boy was I happy until I realized that they were all full. I finally got on a relatively empty D train and it was moving at a good speed until it hit the Brooklyn Bridge, where it sat and sat and sat. When the train finally got to my stop I made my way out of the platform area only to find myself in the confusing underground concourse. That thing makes you feel as if you are in a Harry Potter movie with all those damn tunnels and gold walls. For a good 15 minutes I am just walking until I finally admit to myself that I am lost. I searched for the first glimpse of outside light I could run to and made my way to the surface. I was finally free and had 2 minutes to run up 3 long Manhattan blocks filled with clueless tourists. I got to work like 5 minutes late but hell I got there and that is all that matters. I was cool all until lunch time came around. I was on my way to the lunch room when I felt a little breeze on my leg. I'm like "Hmmm that's interesting" and I keep it moving because I suspected the pants were just thin. Then I felt and even stronger breeze which made me even more confused and instantly look down at my pants. There I see a rip from my pelvis to the middle of my thigh. OH MY WORD! I have been walking around like this and no one had the decency to say "Miss you ripped you're pants" because I damn sure didn't put them on like this! SMH! BOO FCKERS BOO! I would have told somebody that they ripped their pants HELL I TOLD THIS MAN HE HAD A BUG ON HIM! [granted that was driven by personal motive because he was standing right in front of me and I was scared it was going to jump on me so I had to tell him so he can rid of it]. Either way I was nice enough to tell him. So I put my bag in front of my leg and walked to the lunch room. I ate my lunch then ran to The Gap and bought a pair of jeans because that was all they had on sale and I refuse to pay $50 for Khaki pants that I will never wear again unless I work at Target. From that point on my day was relatively okay, nothing to scream about. I did learn a few things from this day: 1) I still hate humans. 2) Gap has upgraded the quality of their jeans 3) The Gap now carries my choice of jeans. The last time I bought Gap jeans was in 8th grade and they were kinds hard and rough. Now Gap jeans are nice, cotton soft, and they fit in all the right places. Did I mention they give me somewhat of a butt??? YASS! LIFE! I recently bought their Always Skinny jean and it is my new favorite. Anywho I have SAT homework to finish [yes I am at work doing my SAT hw, don't judge me] so ciao lovies.

It Takes One To Know One

I saw this on MTO the yesterday and I went straight to blog about it until I fcked up my job computer -_-. Then I thought to myself 'maybe this is a sign from the Lord that I should give this foolishness the time of day'. Yeah well I'm sorry subconcious you can kiss my ass today. You know how I feel when it comes to Michael Jackson. Ask the fam, ask the friends, that man was IT for me. So to see & hear someone as horrendous as Lil Wayne popping off about him even in the smallest manner, you know I got the itch to beat him with a bat. An ugly little human [and I use that loosely] who is known for kissing his father on the lips and spreading around his sperm like it's fcking Christmas cheer should not be commenting on anyone, especially someone of Michael's stature. You need to pay that child support, stop knocking bxtches up, and get your punk ass to rehab because sipping sizzurp is not cute...but then again it is Lil Wayne. I don't know why I am shocked by this. Can I really expect anything of substance to come from Lil Wayne's mouth? His raps don't show me that I really can [need I remind you of that 'Kiss Me' song that I laughed at in a past post?]. Don't call MJ a f*g, don't call anyone a f*g. That word is hideous and I honestly hate when people say it. Uh Lil Wayne, if you plan on continuing to kiss your daddy on his mouth, I'd lay up off the accusations of homosexuality. We all know a whole legion of people think you're gay. With that face I don't think the gays want you on their side anyway. Save us all from your seeds and become asexual. Honestly I have no clue how Lauren London and Nivea can carry children belonging to this man and be proud.

Fast forward this foolishness and listen at the 2:59 mark
The Raging Impregnator utters this tom foolery:

I pledge allegiance to the flag that Michael Jackson is a f*g.



Man!!!!!!!!

Dear Big Bxtches Of The World...

Now I do not discriminate against people, if you're big you're big, if you're small, you're small. However, I will not hesitate to insult you're big ass especially if you have no concern for me. I didn't ask to be skinny mmkay? My fam just has good genes thats all. Just because I can fit into small places does not give you the right to sit or place anyone of your large body parts on me. I can hardly lift my younger brother, please don't burden me with one of your limbs or you're whole body. I'm like the size of your leg. Why? I am not one to lash out but this is too much. Enough is enough. This was not the first time I was sat upon or squished. Oh no no no. I was 14 and coming home from school. I sat my ass down in that nice seat behind the bus driver because I like to be the first one off the bus. As we drive down Utica Avenue, I see the usual black diaspora carrying on in front of Pretty Girl. In that sea of black folk I spotted this large mass, something of a whale you might say. I am not trying to be mean but it did not help that she wore black and white and had jagged teeth. Samu [I'ma call her that] made her way on the bus much to everyone's displeasure. And when I said made her way I mean she knocked people over. There were other seats on the bus but Samu thought it was right for her to squeeze her ass in between me, a pole, and an old lady. All I know is my vision got dark and I was smothered by her leg and arm. I could not feel my leg at all. People on the bus saw that her ass swallowed me and began to protest. The bus driver saw through his rear view mirror and announced 'Miss, you know you can't fit there, why are you squeezing this child?' I was squished to the oblivion of the earth I tell you. After much protest and yelling, Samu finally got off of me fast enough so that I could return to normal breathing. I held that one incident to myself. I was not going to fault big people of the world but after constant incidents that took place after that, I have to speak now. This morning was the most recent squishing incident. I fell into a light sleep on the train as Jason Mraz sang into my ear. 'And I won't hesitate no more, nooooo more, it cannot wait, I'm yoursss...." and then I felt this sweaty, hot, squishy mass slam into the right side of my body. The force was so large that it knocked me back into the seat [if you know me you know that I have a slight case of germophobia so i seldom sit on the train and if I do it is at the very edge so I am liable to slide back]. I awoke, shocked and angry mind you 'cause she done messed up my earphones and I can only hear outta one ear now, to this large woman squishing me AGAINST THE POLE! She was sweaty. There was heat exuding from her body. I felt like I was trapped. I could not move with all seriousness. Unlike the people on the bus no one stuck up for me. For about 4-5 stops I was lodged in between her and the pole. I felt like a poor $1 bill hanging from a fat stripper. Finally I was release but I was very angry. It wasn't the fact that she sat on half of my body, it was that she SLAMMED into me. This man had the nerve to laugh at my misfortune. I mean I'd laugh too but still. I'm me. I live by another set of rules so what I do is not for everyone else. Anywho the bottom line is, big bxches of the world, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE have some consideration for me or else I'm harpoon your big ass like the w0olly mammoth you are.

YOOOOO! I just had an ephiphany! My lost earring probably fell off when she slammed into me and is either on the train or in her rolls! Eh on second thoughts...she can keep it.

Jeez I'm a mean person.
But you already knew that.
I love big folk, just not when they sit on me or cause global warming.
Simple.

If Only Life Was This Easy...

As easy as your daughter woman!

So this Polish woman is suing an Egyptian hotel because apparently her daughter became impregnated by loose sperm in the hotel's swimming pool during their recent vacation. She claims that her 13 year old daughter did not have any sexual encounters with those of the opposite sex so there for the pool is to blame...

-_-

How stupid is this woman? You think your lil fast ass daughter was knocked up by a pool? If objects are giving out babies then I should have been about 5 months pregnant by my school's photography dark room at the rate sperm is going. And wouldn't the chlorine in the pool have killed this random sperm? And if there was random sperm in said pool, who did it belong to because this man has super sperm! If every teen could pull the wool over their parents' eyes like this, there wouldn't be wonderful shows like 16 & Pregnant on MTV. This is a show I'd like to see: True Life I Am Having A Baby From Random Pool Sperm. I would DVR bad boy so quick. Listen here lady, you know, I know, and your lil baby skank know very damn well that random pool sperm did not knock her up. It was some lil Egyptian boy who works at the hotel who she thought was delicious and he clearly thought she was smashable so they commenced to conceive this lil accident. The sperm came from the pool alright, THE POOL BOY!

I wish my future 13 year old would come at me with some excuse like this.
I WISH MY 13 YEAR OLD WOULD BE PREGGY AT ALL!
Oh I'ma show her ass knocked up. Knock her upside a damn wall with foot. And then I'ma tar and feather the lil fck that stuck his plug into her socket.

People...love your children. Make them watch pregnancy videos. Scare the shxt outta them like they did to me in 6th grade.

WELP! I'm gone to take a walk with Krys.
PAYCE!

Lifestyle Of The Rich & The Useless

I don't know about you all but I, for one, am tired of the bull on tv. What is that bull yoask? It is the constant push of reality shows tooting up the lives of the rich and useless. It all started with Laguna Beach, then The Hills, and now NYC Prep. I admit I was a Laguna Beach head when it started but by the third season I realized why the fck am I watching people do nothing but live just because they are rich? They do the same shxt just means it's more expensive. And quite frankly my view point on this is if you're not giving any of your money then I don't need to watch you. NYC Prep recently premiered and I tuned into that because I go to a prep school. My school isn't on the upper east side so we aren't considered all highty tighty but we know how this circle works. I knew I would hate the show and surely it did not disappoint. I despise the rich and the useless. The rich and the useful I can dig. But these fools on television...not so much. I cannot stand four of the children on the show. I refuse to call them teenagers because they act like brats. I have no respect for these idiots and I have no respect for their lifestyle. No lie, I would use these children if they were my friends. Their personalities are despicable and that one from public school is a dweeb. She was unsure of how public school kids will mix with private school kids. -_- Baby girl we do that type of thing everyday. Smh @ that jaded wannabe. Well I had more for a rant but I am no longer inspired to yell so that's that.

bottom line: reality shows about rich people are stupid and pointless.

Another Stolen Post To Hush The Ignorant Haters [AAR in mini form]...

Still at work folks so this is gonna be a quick copy and paste.
I've been reading articles on CNN.com lately because hell I'm at work I might as well keep up on the world seeing as I have no newspaper. CNN has been going hard with the Michael Jackson coverage and this article beats them all for me:


(CNN) -- Michael Jackson's single white glove was his trademark -- an iconic image for a performer whose career constantly set, then redefined, pop culture trends.


Michael Jackson's single glove, a trademark image, started as a way to hide his skin condition, friends say

But it also was an early effort to mask a skin condition that he would struggle with for the rest of his life, say some who were close to him.

Actress Cicely Tyson, a friend of Jackson's, said the two shared a fashion designer in the 1980s.

"All of a sudden, he said, 'I'm doing this glove for Michael,' " she said. "Michael was beginning to develop the vitiligo and it started on his hand.

"The glove was to cover the vitiligo; that's how that glove came into being."

The glove design and reason for it were not just hearsay for Tyson, she said.

"I was there when he was creating it," she told CNN's Larry King.

More than the black fedora, the white socks and loafers or the red leather jacket, the solitary glove -- made famous in the music video for "Billie Jean" -- became a Jackson trademark. He was dubbed "The Gloved One," by media and a sequined glove he wore during his 1984 Victory tour was expected to fetch more than $60,000 in an upcoming auction, even before his death.

Jackson's dermatologist, Dr. Arnie Klein, told CNN that Jackson suffered from vitiligo, a disease that causes blotches of lightening skin, as well as a form of lupus that led to rashes and flaking of skin on his scalp. Watch Jackson doctor talk with Larry King »

"His was bad because he began to get a speckled look over his body," Klein said. "All over his body -- but on his face and hands, which is hard to treat."


"I have to wear sleeves and carry an umbrella," said Lee Thomas, who wrote a memoir called "Turning White," which discusses his physical and mental struggles as an African-American man whose skin changes because of vitiligo. "It totally makes sense to me."

Thomas, an Emmy-winning television journalist in Detroit, Michigan, told CNN that he shares a habit with Jackson.

"I got [white spots] on one of my hands, so I used to wear a glove to hold a microphone," he said.

Dr. James Norlund, a dermatologist, never treated Jackson, but said the singer's use of the gloves and lipstick was consistent with the patterns of vitiligo, since the spots frequently first appear on the hands and face, including the lips.

Klein said he treated Jackson's vitiligo with a cream that eventually bleached Jackson's darker pigmentation to even out his skin color. He said it was that treatment -- not a once-rumored desire by Jackson to be white -- that lightened his skin over the years.

"Michael was black," Klein said. "He was very proud of his black heritage."

Regardless of its origins, the glove was never viewed as anything other than fashion by Jackson's fans, some of whom donned gloves to impersonate him.

At Jackson's memorial service Tuesday, actress Brooke Shields, a close friend of Jackson's, remembered the glove in a light moment during an otherwise emotional eulogy.


"When he started wearing the glove, I was like, 'What's up with the glove?' " she said, drawing laughter from the crowd. "I was like, 'If you're going to hold my hand, it better be the nonglove one because sequins really hurt me.' It would dig in.

"He'd just shake his head and he would just smile."

There you have it. The doctor confirmed it. Michael had vitilago. Now shut up you Quincy Jones wanna be ignorant fools! If you could bleach your skin to that point with such ease, trust me a lot of self hating black folks would have been jumped on that gravy train. Don't plant your insecurities on Michael. Humph! [Yo blame my fam for me being such a Michael Jackson stan lol].
AIGHT BACK TO WORK!

AAR: Another Angry Rant

This time boys and girls it is sponsered by the great MTA of New York City. On Sunday June, 28th 2009, the MTA decided to raise its fare from $2.00 to $2.25. A measly quarter may not seem like a lot but for a New Yorker that puts you in a tough spot. Where the hell am I supposed to find this 9th quarter? That is a bag of chips, a quarter water, or a handful of candy from your local corner store. I gotta find 2 extra quarters to go and come from work [$4.50 for those who can't add]. Times is hard MTA, times is hard! But that is besides the point. My point is why should I fork over an extra 25 cents for bum ass service? Why should I find those extra quarters to stand up in the hot-African-Sahara desert-temperature turned up to hell- sun during summer or in the cold-Ice Age of Antartica type winds during winter to wait for a stupid bus? And not only is this bus late but 600 of them come at the same time!!! WHY?!?!?!? Why should I dig in my couch for those extra quarters to stand up in the hot, funky ass, bum smellin, pee drenched subway to wait for a train that never comes on time? The lady in the booth said the train would be here in 10 mins...this mofo never show up until a good 40 mins later. NOOOOOOO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOO! I REFUSE YOU AND YOUR BULL MTA! I REFUSE IT! I REBUKE THEE!!! Countless times you have made me late for work or school and you want me to give you more money? I remember when the fare was $1.50, service was good then. Then it went up to $2.00, I let that slide and service was aight. BUT NOW it's up to $2.25 and you bastards are horrible. The service is horrid! And the stations stink. And the trains are dirty. The more money we give, the lazier you get and I refuse alla dis. I'm moving damn it. I will buy a bike and ride it everywhere. I've always wondered why white folks ride their bikes everywhere and now I know: no gas and no fare. Ugh I am so over the MTA right now. Thank you for making me late to work once again and preventing me from having lunch, thank you. Friggin bastids...


Anyway I am sneaking in another post from work so I gotta dip.
PAYCE!