Chuckles of the Week

I been gone for a minute but now I'm back with the jump off...well not really but HELL you get my point. I'ma keep it short because I am supposed to be doing a paper *side eye* but I had to post these pics that gave me some hard laughs.

1) Oscar nomination?

Now I've made it clear that I am not fond of Rihanna but I admit the trick cleans up nice. No I did not tune in for the entire "EPIC" -_- interview but my mother and I tuned in for 2 seconds until my mother got pissed off and yelled "I CANNOT TAKE THIS BITCH AND HER ACT! IT'S LIKE SHE IS AUDITIONING FOR A MOVIE ROLE AND TRYING TO BE SHARON STONE IN 'BASIC INSTINCT'!" Well, well, well, low and behold what Stuff Fly People Like posted this morning:



My momma is one smart cookie. Anywho on to the next one, I don't talk about Chris and Rihanna on here. And 'Burn' by Usher is playing from my laptop and that song makes me cry so I'm feeling a lil sad for my Chris lmao. Nah just playing. Muhfuckas need to hush up and release them albums!



2) I Refuse Thee!



I saw this madness on Bossip the other night. I have never been a fan of female-ized sneakers. Those high heeled Manolo Timbs were cute back in 2004 but now I might have to trip you if I see you in any high heeled sneaker. Sneakers were made to be flat. You wanna wear comfy heels then find a pair of sturdy ones until then NO! And this chick had the nerve to come out the house looking like she does in those damn leggings and hell just her damn self. The bad weave is just killing me. Why people so pressed to have blonde hair? I'm sorry but it's not for you. NEXT!

3) Poor Kitty Kat



Do I really need words? I'm just shocked at his perm not being in order.

Dear Chris Brown...You Owe Me An Hour Of Life

So I sat down like the rest of the world to watch the exclusive Larry King interview with Mr. Christopher Maurice Brown. *blink* *side eye* *blink* What in the blue hell was that? Chris didn't share anything we didn't know, he said sorry for the millionth time, and he dodged the most important question of the night! I don't care about you being sorry, I still remained a fan and you apologized to Rihanna & she clearly accepted it. I just wanted to know what happened in that car that night. We heard Rihanna's side through the police report and now we want to hear yours. I would like to know how the hell you managed to bite homegirl on her fingers and ears. Excuse my manners but I laughed hard as hell when I heard that. How did you manage to drive a lambo and bust her up like that? I mean either the story doesn't add up or Chris needs to be a nascar driver STAT! Larry plainly asked what happened in that car and this boy refused to answer. Share the details! Screw the feelings! I wanna know!!! So I wasted an hour of my life to watch you apologized and say other foolishness that I don't remember. OH WAIT! I remember one thing, Chris confirmed that him AND Rihanna were indeed riding jet skis at Diddy's house. He said that they were trying to rekindle their friendship or did I hear incorrectly? Because if so all that shade about him not being remorseful is wrong because she was there too -_-

Anyway I had no intentions about talking about this but I needed to blog and I needed a topic so HERE! All I really want is an album from the both of them you know. Tired of him moping, tired of her...walking around. They are really about to be put on my 'Why are you still here' list.

LOL at the fact that Chris's lil blue bow tie has a following and is a trending topic on twitter. LMAO even more that the bow tie has a twitter and is one of my followers. Oh I love humans and their antics.

It's That Time Of The Year Again! -_-

September is here [oh joy] and it is officially 8 days until school starts. I was all gung ho and ready to go until today. I could not wait for the college process until now. To be honest, I am scared out my ass. I have a fear of rejection [if you people haven't noticed, I have a lot of fears] so this whole receiving a small envelope in the mail thing is not sitting right with me. My fear of rejection goes beyond college letters [I don't even IM people first =/] but this is most important to me. I'm not used to getting the school I want because they always wait list me -_- but in the end I find my perfect fit so I know not to have my heart set on one specific college. What I am scared of is ending up at some hole in the wall college or not getting into college at all! They say there is a college for everyone yadda yadda but I am petrified. Everyone I know has gone to some of the top colleges and universities in the United States and I don't want to be that one who doesn't. I have no clue why I feel like it will be me but I have that inkling. I know I have the interview in the bag, college essays with some tweaking I have in a sack, my resume is pretty darn poppin and my SAT scores are coming up [in my defense I woke up 10 minutes before it started and I had to run around the corner in my pajamas]. My grades, however, are pretty proper. As and Bs...one C here...a fcking F there thanks to french. I blame my school for this because it could have been avoided. They took everyone out of that class but left me in there. 'Oh we believe in you!' Believe in me my ass! Smh muhhfckers I swear. Freshman year is perfect, sophmore was good...except that F, and junior year was pretty but could have been so much more amazing had it not been for an on going family issue that got in the way repeatedly. Anyway the main objective of this post was not to babble and complain but to make another checklist. I made my first one during junior year in one of my first posts and as I recall I sorta followed it. Well here is my senior year checklist!

1) All work, some play. First semester of senior year is your last chance to show colleges what you can do and that you will be a great addition to their institution academically. I will be working my butt off no doubt but there will be some play but not a lot. No parties, just chill with the mains, a bit of shopping, and my extra curriculars. SATs and ACTs will be even more amazing and I promise to be on point in every aspect of my life.

2) Time is on my side. Between school work, senate, and dance team, I have no clue on how I am going to distribute my time especially when I plan on getting a job and going back to dance school. I am usually good at time management so I think I will be fine if I make a schedule for myself.

3) Clock work. As I've mentioned many times, a JOB is a must. Not only will it benefit me and my fam but it will help me with financial aid and save me from ending up a starvin' marvin in college.

4) Network. I've been doing well in that department but I am taking it up a notch this year. I'm gonna network like my name is facebook [ew lame ass analogy but its okay]. Next stop world domination! Just Kidding...or not *sus face*

5) Focus. The bottom line of this all is to keep focus. I need to ignore all things that will tempt me to stray from my yellow brick road. No more worrying about foolish males, there are smarter, better looking, and taller ones in college lol. My life was consumed by in school and out of school drama so I'm gonna do it like Mary and declare no more drama in my life! I can go on forever but staying focused is the main goal.

Well so far that is all for my senior year checklist. I might add more if any point do come to mind. Everyone says I'll be fine because my grades aren't horrid [although in my mind they are] and I have my head on my shoulders but I feel the opposite =/. Anyway wish me luck this year because I promise you I will make tails spin. Smh @ my insecure to confident flips.

Slim is going back to "work" also known as trolling the internet for something to blog about.

Oh How I Love Thee

Not Kim K. [although she is the only socialite I am fond of] but the skirt she is rocking. I brought that skirt to you guys earlier in the month and now look at it! Oh Kim K girl you can dress your butt off and kudos for that skirt because I envy the fact that you have it! Hmm...I smell a DIY project coming along. I refuse to be without that skirt or something similar. Aside from the skirt, I like that she paired it with simple platforms and an acid wash denim jacket. Children, if you haven't revived that denim jacket or at least bought one you are lacking in life. Definite staple for the summer and the warm days of the fall.

I just needed to do one blog today at least. I got my laptop choc full of ish to sharee

WHY WON'T THIS ECONOMY LET ME BE GREAT?!?!

So my internship is up this week and I am officially back on the broke trail. I like to survive during the school year and by survive i mean eating during and after school hours and shopping. I can always dupe a boy into paying for a movie or some shxt of that nature but shopping I cannot [boys are getting smart]. Food quite possibly, but shopping never. Jimmy Choo is teaming up with H&M and the Jordan brand is re-releasing the Space Jam 11s, both of which occur in November. I can definitely refrain from shopping because I have enough clothes and shoes to last me but those two things are golden. When the hell am I ever going to be able to afford Jimmy Choo??? When I am in my 30s, quite possibly my 20s [if I strike gold]. Anyway as a shopper and a sneakerhead those two events are vital to my survival. Off the materialisitc tip, my mother will not be working for about 3 months due to the fact that she is popping out the latest addition to the family in 27 days. I don't want to have to bother her for cash, I would prefer to give it to her quite frankly. I want to take care of my momma. However due to this economy, big over grown adults are taking my spot in areas of jobs that were once dominated by the 17-18 year old crowd. Target rejected me so this just upsets my ass. I have many stores left on my list. I also have someone in Prep working on something for me and if push comes to shove I will ask my school to help me out. They know my situation and I refuse to be put under a rug. My last resort is McDonalds. I have respect for Mickey Ds no doubt but no tea no shade...come on now. Grease and smelling like I've been sleeping in a bed of beef and fried goods. I'm not trying to smell like a Klump everyday. And all those oils are bad for your skin. *sigh* after receiving my swift rejection notice from the Target at Flatbush Junction, I'll just wait and see if Atlantic will shout me a holler. If not, back to pounding the pavement. I just want to keep building on my bank account. I want to see it stacked. I have over a grand but I want more so I can feel secure. I need a new job. *audible sigh*

I think I have a fear of being broke =/

*sings* I want the money, money and the cars, cars and the clothes, more clothes, I suppose. I just wanna be, I just wanna be successful...


I had to tweak those lyrics, nobody is doing hoes this year. Time for relationships people! Since I've been in HS there has been nothing but hooking up and hoeness occuring. I'm tired of you nasty ass teenagers. We are now seniors, grow the fck up. Debauchery will return in college but damn have self respect in your last year of being a kid. Hell in college it is worse because these are people you don't know well and it's like playing Russian roulette with all these subtle stds and shxt. Hard On Hoes 09! It's a movement. Smh I just hurt myself on the damn printer. I simply cannot with this place. OMG one of my attorneys is eating this yummy sandwich. It smell sooo good. Sorry for that lil rant/tangent at the end, I had a Kanye DIVA moment but it's okay because this is my blog whatever I do/say here is law and damn sure normal in my world.

Ear Candy: Drake & Trey Trey Want To Be Successful

Got this via Twitter [yes I hate that bullshit but when you're bored at work and your job is trying to block blogger, trust me it helps] from Miss B. Scott. So you know I had to post it here! If this post goes through it'll be a miracle because work has been doing me dirty as of late, hence this long ass dry spell of not sneaking in posts at work! SMH! The fxckery! Anyway, I like the use of lights and shadows in this video. Very simple and calm like the beat. I also love Trey's verse on this. His flow and pitches were on point, everything was good. His voice is really coming along. After listening to his mixtapes I can honestly say that Trey is underestimated and truly deserves more shine. Who knows, since my main boo Chris Breezy is on cruise mode this VA boy can get a lil sunlight. Gon' head Trey Trey! Cop his album Ready which is in stores TODAY! He will also be in Brooklyn tomorrow. So sad I can't go but all you other fans have a fun time. Shoo...Trey is about to be my boyfriend #2...

Slim Thuggin is outtttt

I Was Thinking...

That I should start to do outfit posts once the school year begins or whenever the hell I find my camera. I have enough clothes to wear something different everday of my life so why not share it with you all? I have a great sense of fashion and I wear whatever the hell I please so I know you will all enjoy my fashions [as Dwight from the Real Housewives of ATL would say]. Some outfits are so lovely that they must be captures on memory chip so I shall start now!

Sidetrack: So this morning I bop out my house in this nice fitted yellow dress that I bought in Soho. I've worn it twice before and it has garnered multiple compliments. I come down my steps all cute and then a woman says 'Hey!'. Me being who I am thought she was gonna ask me where I got my dress. No ma'am no no no. She proceeded to tell me that the zipper spoiled and that my back was all out. Do you see the fxckery that crosses my path every-damn-day? As I am typing behind this blasted desk I have a cardigan on while my whole back is out. I haven't seen my friends yet so I will wait until lunch to fix this issue. Oh life why?

Sidetrack pt. 2: I saw the Michael Jackson GQ cover yesterday and I was like wow that cover is goregous and me being the Michael person I am was about to cop but I had to go back to work. It just so happens that when I checked bossip last night for my daily dose of celebrity foolishness that I see that Jermaine Dupri spoke out about the cover:

HOT COVER WACK ASS TITLE. SEE THIS IS THE SHIT THAT PISSES ME OFF PEOPLE WANNA USE THIS MAN TO MAKE THEM MONEY BUT CONTINUE TO THROW LIL SNEAK DISSES. AS FAR AS ANY FAN WOULD SAY, HE WAS COOL HIS WHOLE LIFE. I SAY THAT BECAUSE THE FANS ARE THE ONES THAT’S GONNA MAKE THIS COVER SELL 3 TIMES MORE MAGAZINES THAN THE LAST ONE SO WHY TITLE IT THIS?

And I have to say the lil homie is right because if I didn't have to go back to work I would have bought the magazine. I did not see the 'When Michael Was Cool' title but that shxt is most defintely foul and GQ loses mad points for their sly assholeishness [ass-hole-ish-ness yes it is a word in my world]. I've done many Michael rants on here so I'm not gonna weigh you down with more...until next time.

And did Omarion really get dropped from Young Money already? Damn son tough break. Shoulda stayed on your Ps & Qs. I like Omarion too you know...

My Love Has Returned!

As you all know America's Best Dance Crew started last week and so far I am having a hard time choosing favorites. I live for this show so you know my happy level is ridiculous. Of course the crews from NYC are my faves especially Vogue Evolution because I LOVEEEEE me some gays. Yes yes they are fierce beyond belief and they gave me life on that stage like no other. My zest meter was off the chains with them in their lil American Apparel jackets. Sidetrack: No lie I was googling the Balls that the different houses in NYC throw and I could not find any at all. I did, however, find a website with the listing of every house so I love that. I know that they hold balls at the Roseland Ballroom but anywhere and any time somebody hears of a ball PLEASE TELL ME! I really want to go. I am so serious when I say in my next life I will be gay man or a drag queen. Speaking of a gay man, did you guys see the spectacle that was Dwight's birthday party on The Real Housewives of ATL? Gosh I am so off topic right now but I get so excited when it comes to gay people. I really do love them. ANYWHO! This week on ABDC is Beyonce Week [YASSS!] and I am very excited. I love Beyonce and her songs are very dance friendly so I simply cannot wait to see what these crews pull out. Here is the listing:

Here’s what you can be on the lookout for this week:

RHYTHM CITY “Sweet Dreams” – Must update “the Charleston,” which is featured in the video.

WE ARE HEROES “Single Ladies” – Take the section of the video known as “the wind” and blow us away with their own version.

ARTISTRY IN MOTION “Diva” – Perform with chains incorporating the entire crew.

VOGUE EVOLUTION “Deja Vu” – Perform African-style dancing within their routine.

AFROBORIKE “Beautiful Liar” – Work exotic Shakira-like moves into the routine.

MASSIVE MONKEES “Work It Out” – Dance with hula hoops without accidentally dropping them.

SOUTHERN MOVEMENT “Jumpin’ Jumpin’” – Bust out all the moves from the video with new creativity.

BEAT YA FEET KINGS “Crazy In Love” – ‘Booty Pop’ with never-before-seen flare.

“America’s Best Dance Crew” airs Sundays at 9pm ET/PT on MTV.

I think Vogue Evolution should have gotten 'Single Ladies' but maybe that's a little too at home for them since Bey does vogue in the video. Oh hell 'Diva' woulda been good too! Either way I am very excited. This season is amazing.

Ear Candy: Chris Breezy!

I like this song a lot. Hmmm I definitely have to download this.
I say shut up about this whole beating up Rihanna thing because she is clearly over it and so the hell am I SO bring on the good music! I'm tired of this swag surfin bull on the radio. Rihanna pop me an album, C.B pop me an album. I'll be gravy.



Sidetrack: Chris...what in the blue hell are you wearing? The socks pulled up to high heavens. Those shorts hanging lower than an orangatang's tatas. The hoodie is a lil colorful but I'm all for the rainbow so I can dig it. Those ked or vans do not match and that hat must go. And why does your face looks like a sad, homeless puppy? I mean I'd look like that too if my outfit was just as horrendous. I laughed real loud when I saw this picture. Dear Lawd never again Chris. People stop having laugh out loud in the work place, you will get me fired smh.

Fashion Fest: Something Lite

Okay seeing as I cannot save pictures on the computer at work [which is where I spend most of my time for the past 3 months] I uploaded these last night from my computer before falling out into deep slumber. I'd like to thank HS for these pictures, let my fashion fest begin!

First on deck: Dominic Jones' Leather Gloves

As you can probably tell by now, these are not ordinary gloves. These leather gloves are by London based Dominic Jones with attached gold nails. I've seen many leather gloves, some dull, some cute but these right here are magnificent. I would buy these in a heartbeat and live with them permanently attached to my hands. Simply AMAZING! I can see Rihanna [*side eye*] in these but I'd rock them better =X

Next up to bat: Novella Royale ‘Mister’ Bag

The LA based Novalla Royale creates luxury bags where the leather from each bag is hand cut from vintage jackets, making each piece a one-of-a-kind in color, distressing and seaming. Not only is this earth friendly but it also allows the bags to be extremely soft and unique. How many people can say a leather jacket was converted to bag? The Mister [an instant favorite of mine] is a mini duffel with big gold or black grommets. The black on black Mister [not pictured here] is my favorite, then comes the brown/gold and the white/black. Another timeless item that could be used year round but they are expensive. http://www.novellaroyale.com/ Get aquainted =]

#3 Stylestalker Studded Skirt
Not much to be said about this skirt. It is fitted, the studs add a great high fashion touch, and there is really nothing like a high waisted skirt. Available on http://www.pixiemarket.com/ feel free to click!

Jean Paul Gaultier launched his first winter collection for kids ages 2-16 called Junior Jean Paul Gaultier. This line is inspired by his classic creations from the 80s, bringing back the beret and leaopard prints. Jeez what I would do to be a rich kid in Paris right now...

Last but surely not least: Diesel Glows In The Dark

Diesel launches a capsule collection of ” glow in the dark” accessories and denim for Fall 2009. I love to stand out so even though all I see are pictures of male items, best believe male or female I will be copping. This idea is pretty sick. I'M READY!

Welp! Until something else catches my eye or annoys me, payce =]

Okay This Is Ridiculous Now

If everybody jumped off a blasted bridge, would you do it?

No right? So why the hell is everyone shaving some part of their damn heads?

See at first it was daring and cool [even though Kelis & Kesh have been holding down this spectrum for a while now] but now its annoying and no longer cute. I do, however, like Keyshia's lil red stars on the side. Gotta keep the hood glamour swag, I see you Keyshia! You still get a BOO BXTCH BOO because you stay jumping on the bandwagon honey. The only trend you started was the two toned kool aid red hair [Lawd knows there are a couple girls out there who I wish would leave that two colored weave alone!!!!].

[Kesh. Kelis. Jack Davey. are the originals]

Hell punk rockers have been shaving their heads since the crack of time, bow down to them for inspiration.

Go Directly To Jail

I simply cannot with Solange and this outfit. Nothing about this is okay. I feel like she should have worn a different top with such a petite and layered skirt. It bothers me to see tiny pieces of the top hanging at the bottom from under the skirt. Or maybe she should have chosen a different bottom because to be honest I am not a fan of the skirt. That top with a pair of crazy leggings or shorts would have been great with the right accessories. Also her stance in the photo doesn’t help at all. She looks like a skinny shy child who doesn't know what to do with their arms. Those shoes are creative though. They seem to have a half ankle boot half t-strap thing going on, however, she still gets no love from me. [Update: those shoes are right off the runway from Moschino's Cheap & Chic line, Gon' Head Solo]. I love Solo I really do but this outfit made me say 'What in God's name?!?!?' out loud in my work place and that ain't proper.



Close up Solo looks gorgeous and I like her with the short cut. Her neck looks longer and she has a model appeal. Also the hot pink lipstick looks lovely against her skin tone.

Down With The MOB...

Our favorite Sweet Sixteener is the new face of Married To The Mob for their fall 09 line. Sure Teyana doesn't have any singles out and she garners a good handful of hate from people [let go of your feelings from her sweet 16 episode people!] but you cannot deny the moves this chick is making. She is almost at every hot party, she gets free clothes, she is making money, her connections are off the charts, and best of all she is the new face of MTTM. I mean I couldn't ask for more honestly.

I am super excited for the fall line of MTTM. I see lots of things that I would love to purchase and probably will much to my mother's displeasure. I remember the first MTTM shirt I bought, she yelled at me and made me return it because I paid $40 for it. Yes maybe that is a bit much but damn it I wanted that shirt and MTTM is a personal line so the prices will be steep. Oh well get it how you can. Hide your purchases from your parents for your own sake. *flash back to the OUTRAGEOUS lips shirt* *audible sigh*. ANYWHO the collection is dubbed Smells Like Teen Spirit [extra kudos for the usage of a Nirvana song, my favorite band] and it contains the usual t-shirts, hoodies, dresses, denim and outwear. It is said to be inspired by living downtown in NYC and having to rush around for school the only way a New Yorker can and such. I would post the lil paragraph I found but I'm not sure where exactly it is from [my job has limited my internet surfing] so I'll leave that alone. Just in time for back to school and as I said before I will be copping whether or not the parental likes it. It's senior year, I have to be decked out in the best and Married To The Mob is nothing less.

Boredom At The Work Place

What time is it ? : 4:16 pm
How old are you : 17
When where you born ? : Jan. 23rd, 1992
Eye color?: Brown

Hair Color? : Brownish black

how many times a day do you brush your teeth?: 2 times

Are you the only child? : Nope, middle child ftw!

What color socks are you wearing ?: No socks, I'm on my grown lady shxt in nude pumps =]

Do you shower daily? : Yes! That is a serious must

Where did your first kiss happen?: Behind the couch hehe

Favorite drink: Pineapple soda

Do you drink?: I sip

Do you smoke? : Nope ; I gots asthma =]

What are you wearing right now?: An American Apparel mini skirt, striped H&M t-shirt, Steve Madden nude colored pumps, and an Old Navy cardigan.

What is the date today? : August 5th, 2009

Favorite Color?: Purple Mountains Majesty
Most Missed memorie: The 90s [sidetrack who the hell made this survey, it is MEMORY! not no damn 'ie' smh]
right or left handed?: Righty for Lifey [lame I know]

converse or nike shoes: Both

computers or videogames?: Both

favorite class: History

favorite website : youknowyoudeadazzwrong.com

do you have a license?: Soon

do you like your picture taken?: When I'm looking proper yes, when I am a hot ass mess hellll no

favorite smell : New carpet smell = life

white socks or colored socks?: Colored

favorite meal?: Too many to choose from but I love fish, shrimp, chicken, pasta, and pork.

Last person you talked to ?: [phone]: Mommy [text]: Daeshawn or Asha, they are texting me at the same time and I just cleared my boxes

Last person you got mad at?: Daeshawn

ever put tin foil on your teeth and pretend that they were grills?: I did it when I was 7 because I thought braces were cool lol.

do you like going to the movies?: Only with my friends or a cute boy

do you have a job?: Yes sir! I'm there right now. I'm a secretary.

have you been in love : In love with myself

who is your crush?: Celebrity crushes-Chris Brown & James Franco; Regular crush-Take a wild guess

are your parents still married?: Never were

eyeliner or mascara?: Eyeliner because I have almond eyes

what color are you nails right now if painted?: Black >=]

biggest mistake recently : I don't know if I should call it a mistake but I'm about to make a few this weekend

do your own laundry?: Yes ma'am

If you could be anything in the world what would it be?: A singer [Man I wish I could l could sing =/]

Do you talk in your sleep?: Yes, I also sleepwalk.

favorite fast food place?: The chinese store lol

action or love movies: Action

do you read?: Since I was 3

Favorite breakfast food?: Cornmeal porridge

do you think that the world is coming to its end soon like in the next 20 years?:
I'll leave that decision in the hands of God

what are you listening to right now : Doors close and attorneys on the phone

what is your favorite season?: Summer

Favorite holiday?: Christmas

do you celibrate your birthday?: Why wouldn't I? It is the day greatness was born! [Yo celibrate? Really? Go directly to school. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200]

Where did you get your name from ?: My mother made it up after being told that in America you have to name your child right away.

What is your name ?: Slim Thugg [you really think I'm gonna tell you my name?]

Ear Candy: Milk + Honey [Yum]

Goapele is releasing her third studio album, Milk & Honey, in early 2010 courtesy of Skyblaze Recordings. This single was leaked in early July and the official video was released yesterday. I love Goapele, I think her voice is amazing and this is definitely something different from her normal style [however I do bangs wit it, so carry on!]. This song is more seductive, sexy, and definitely appealing to todays crowd especially with that beat. Nice to hear something new after she left us for 4 years [=/]. She is currently recording her album in her hometown of Oakland and Kanye will be producing a track or two so I am definitely hyped to hear what he cooks up. Mmmm Kanye's production + Goapele's voice = instant crack. I'm excited! Well peep the video for 'Milk & Honey'.

Milk and Honey - Goapele from goapele on Vimeo.

I Ripped My Pants...-_-

See I thought my day couldn't get any worse but oh it did. Not only was I late to work thanks to the muthafcking MTA, I ripped my pants. But let me go off on the MTA for a minute. So I get on the 2 train today all ready to go. I realize we left 2 minutes late and 2 minutes goes a long way when you live in New York City. Then after 4 stops the train sits. And sits. And sits. Oh wait for it...AND SITS! The conductor makes an announcement about the silly train traffic that always seems to occur. We move along. And it sits. And sits. Then it moves and stops in a tunnel...you already know the drill. The conductor comes on the speak is like 'The Lexington line is having some delays and problems, when the train gets to Atlantic Ave. either stay on or go to another train because this will continue all morning'.
-_- Nice. So I get off and I walk to the N, W, R, D, & V train platform with a million other people. Three trains came back to back and boy was I happy until I realized that they were all full. I finally got on a relatively empty D train and it was moving at a good speed until it hit the Brooklyn Bridge, where it sat and sat and sat. When the train finally got to my stop I made my way out of the platform area only to find myself in the confusing underground concourse. That thing makes you feel as if you are in a Harry Potter movie with all those damn tunnels and gold walls. For a good 15 minutes I am just walking until I finally admit to myself that I am lost. I searched for the first glimpse of outside light I could run to and made my way to the surface. I was finally free and had 2 minutes to run up 3 long Manhattan blocks filled with clueless tourists. I got to work like 5 minutes late but hell I got there and that is all that matters. I was cool all until lunch time came around. I was on my way to the lunch room when I felt a little breeze on my leg. I'm like "Hmmm that's interesting" and I keep it moving because I suspected the pants were just thin. Then I felt and even stronger breeze which made me even more confused and instantly look down at my pants. There I see a rip from my pelvis to the middle of my thigh. OH MY WORD! I have been walking around like this and no one had the decency to say "Miss you ripped you're pants" because I damn sure didn't put them on like this! SMH! BOO FCKERS BOO! I would have told somebody that they ripped their pants HELL I TOLD THIS MAN HE HAD A BUG ON HIM! [granted that was driven by personal motive because he was standing right in front of me and I was scared it was going to jump on me so I had to tell him so he can rid of it]. Either way I was nice enough to tell him. So I put my bag in front of my leg and walked to the lunch room. I ate my lunch then ran to The Gap and bought a pair of jeans because that was all they had on sale and I refuse to pay $50 for Khaki pants that I will never wear again unless I work at Target. From that point on my day was relatively okay, nothing to scream about. I did learn a few things from this day: 1) I still hate humans. 2) Gap has upgraded the quality of their jeans 3) The Gap now carries my choice of jeans. The last time I bought Gap jeans was in 8th grade and they were kinds hard and rough. Now Gap jeans are nice, cotton soft, and they fit in all the right places. Did I mention they give me somewhat of a butt??? YASS! LIFE! I recently bought their Always Skinny jean and it is my new favorite. Anywho I have SAT homework to finish [yes I am at work doing my SAT hw, don't judge me] so ciao lovies.

Guess Who's Pregnant?

No it's not one of Lil Wayne's many trollops, praise the Lawd.

So take a wild guess!

Miss Jourdan Dunn is pregnant!

Bet you never thought of her huh? Yeah I didn't either until I read it in a Style.com article. The 19 year-old British model has left her mark in the fashion world and was named Model of the Year at the 2008 British Fashion Awards . From being the first black model to rip the runway for Prada in 10 years to being on the cover of the historical Vogue Italia's All Black Issue, Jourdan has had a colorful yet short career. She is due in December. I don't know about her career because we know how the fashion world is, unless you're Heidi Klum, they are ready to chew you up and spit out. And at the rate they are going with this diversity issue and she needs to stay in the game and snatch up all the work she can get. Well good luck and all the best to her and the unborn bebe. Heidi is pregnant, Adrianna Lima is pregnant, Karolina Kurkova is preggy, Gisele Bundchen is pregnant, SHEESH! Where do they find the time?

It Takes One To Know One

I saw this on MTO the yesterday and I went straight to blog about it until I fcked up my job computer -_-. Then I thought to myself 'maybe this is a sign from the Lord that I should give this foolishness the time of day'. Yeah well I'm sorry subconcious you can kiss my ass today. You know how I feel when it comes to Michael Jackson. Ask the fam, ask the friends, that man was IT for me. So to see & hear someone as horrendous as Lil Wayne popping off about him even in the smallest manner, you know I got the itch to beat him with a bat. An ugly little human [and I use that loosely] who is known for kissing his father on the lips and spreading around his sperm like it's fcking Christmas cheer should not be commenting on anyone, especially someone of Michael's stature. You need to pay that child support, stop knocking bxtches up, and get your punk ass to rehab because sipping sizzurp is not cute...but then again it is Lil Wayne. I don't know why I am shocked by this. Can I really expect anything of substance to come from Lil Wayne's mouth? His raps don't show me that I really can [need I remind you of that 'Kiss Me' song that I laughed at in a past post?]. Don't call MJ a f*g, don't call anyone a f*g. That word is hideous and I honestly hate when people say it. Uh Lil Wayne, if you plan on continuing to kiss your daddy on his mouth, I'd lay up off the accusations of homosexuality. We all know a whole legion of people think you're gay. With that face I don't think the gays want you on their side anyway. Save us all from your seeds and become asexual. Honestly I have no clue how Lauren London and Nivea can carry children belonging to this man and be proud.

Fast forward this foolishness and listen at the 2:59 mark
The Raging Impregnator utters this tom foolery:

I pledge allegiance to the flag that Michael Jackson is a f*g.



Man!!!!!!!!

Eye Candy: My LMAO Moment Of The Week

I saw this video on Good Morning America this morning and I laughed so hard. These people are too cute and very creative. If I had to have a marriage ceremony, it would definitely be like this lol.

There Is Something Wrong With Me...

I've made it known that I am a secretary for different attorneys. I am basically a substitute if you will. I get a new assignment once I am finished with one I am given and noramally they last for 1 or 2 days, 3 of I'm lucky. This week I struck gold with a 5 day assignment at a relatively easy desk because these attorneys are fairly self sufficient and don't really ask much of me. All in all...I just sit here. I've been sneaking in some blogs but this computer prevents me from saving pics onto the computer so I can't go as wild as I would like to. When I am not blogging, I am reading a book, the newspaper, or catching up on some things on my favorite websites [most of which are not listed 'In The Corner']. When I am not doing those things I am just sitting. That's where my issue comes in. Every single day at this desk I hurt myself unintentionally. This is something I do often in my everyday life. Ask my friends about the many times I have walked into something, busted my ass in the hallways, hit my head, or gotten knocked out by falling objects from Asha's locker [-_-]. Hurting myself is what I do so I am used to it. However, this is not an everyday thing...until I met this desk.

Day 1: I squeezed my finger between the desk & my chair.
Day 2: I squeezed another finger between the desk & my chair.
Day 3: I under estimated just how far my head was from the shelves, leaned over to pick up my water bottle and then WAHDOOP! I slammed my head against the shelves.

Today is day 4 and day 5 is Monday...I am scared of what's coming. Will I fall this time? Will a large object fall from the cabinet and hit me? Will I get a paper cut?!?!?!?!?!?!

Who knows because I sure as hell don't.
I am scared of this desk.
I think it's possessed and is trying to kill me because it misses it's original owner.
Well you know what I say to this desk?
Fxck you desk, you ain't even real wood.
TEK DAT!