; 'Cause The Skinny Bxtch Said So.: July 2009

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I Ripped My Pants...-_-

See I thought my day couldn't get any worse but oh it did. Not only was I late to work thanks to the muthafcking MTA, I ripped my pants. But let me go off on the MTA for a minute. So I get on the 2 train today all ready to go. I realize we left 2 minutes late and 2 minutes goes a long way when you live in New York City. Then after 4 stops the train sits. And sits. And sits. Oh wait for it...AND SITS! The conductor makes an announcement about the silly train traffic that always seems to occur. We move along. And it sits. And sits. Then it moves and stops in a tunnel...you already know the drill. The conductor comes on the speak is like 'The Lexington line is having some delays and problems, when the train gets to Atlantic Ave. either stay on or go to another train because this will continue all morning'.
-_- Nice. So I get off and I walk to the N, W, R, D, & V train platform with a million other people. Three trains came back to back and boy was I happy until I realized that they were all full. I finally got on a relatively empty D train and it was moving at a good speed until it hit the Brooklyn Bridge, where it sat and sat and sat. When the train finally got to my stop I made my way out of the platform area only to find myself in the confusing underground concourse. That thing makes you feel as if you are in a Harry Potter movie with all those damn tunnels and gold walls. For a good 15 minutes I am just walking until I finally admit to myself that I am lost. I searched for the first glimpse of outside light I could run to and made my way to the surface. I was finally free and had 2 minutes to run up 3 long Manhattan blocks filled with clueless tourists. I got to work like 5 minutes late but hell I got there and that is all that matters. I was cool all until lunch time came around. I was on my way to the lunch room when I felt a little breeze on my leg. I'm like "Hmmm that's interesting" and I keep it moving because I suspected the pants were just thin. Then I felt and even stronger breeze which made me even more confused and instantly look down at my pants. There I see a rip from my pelvis to the middle of my thigh. OH MY WORD! I have been walking around like this and no one had the decency to say "Miss you ripped you're pants" because I damn sure didn't put them on like this! SMH! BOO FCKERS BOO! I would have told somebody that they ripped their pants HELL I TOLD THIS MAN HE HAD A BUG ON HIM! [granted that was driven by personal motive because he was standing right in front of me and I was scared it was going to jump on me so I had to tell him so he can rid of it]. Either way I was nice enough to tell him. So I put my bag in front of my leg and walked to the lunch room. I ate my lunch then ran to The Gap and bought a pair of jeans because that was all they had on sale and I refuse to pay $50 for Khaki pants that I will never wear again unless I work at Target. From that point on my day was relatively okay, nothing to scream about. I did learn a few things from this day: 1) I still hate humans. 2) Gap has upgraded the quality of their jeans 3) The Gap now carries my choice of jeans. The last time I bought Gap jeans was in 8th grade and they were kinds hard and rough. Now Gap jeans are nice, cotton soft, and they fit in all the right places. Did I mention they give me somewhat of a butt??? YASS! LIFE! I recently bought their Always Skinny jean and it is my new favorite. Anywho I have SAT homework to finish [yes I am at work doing my SAT hw, don't judge me] so ciao lovies.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

My LMFAO Moment of the Week



LMFAOOOO I LAUGHED SOOOO LOUD AT MY DESK AND ALL THE ATTORNEYS CAME OUT AND LOOKED AT ME.

WHOYYY! Thank you YKYDAW for this chuckle

Friday, July 24, 2009

Guess Who's Pregnant?

No it's not one of Lil Wayne's many trollops, praise the Lawd.


So take a wild guess!





Miss Jourdan Dunn is pregnant!


Bet you never thought of her huh? Yeah I didn't either until I read it in a Style.com article. The 19 year-old British model has left her mark in the fashion world and was named Model of the Year at the 2008 British Fashion Awards . From being the first black model to rip the runway for Prada in 10 years to being on the cover of the historical Vogue Italia's All Black Issue, Jourdan has had a colorful yet short career. She is due in December. I don't know about her career because we know how the fashion world is, unless you're Heidi Klum, they are ready to chew you up and spit out. And at the rate they are going with this diversity issue and she needs to stay in the game and snatch up all the work she can get. Well good luck and all the best to her and the unborn bebe. Heidi is pregnant, Adrianna Lima is pregnant, Karolina Kurkova is preggy, Gisele Bundchen is pregnant, SHEESH! Where do they find the time?

It Takes One To Know One

I saw this on MTO the yesterday and I went straight to blog about it until I fcked up my job computer -_-. Then I thought to myself 'maybe this is a sign from the Lord that I should give this foolishness the time of day'. Yeah well I'm sorry subconcious you can kiss my ass today. You know how I feel when it comes to Michael Jackson. Ask the fam, ask the friends, that man was IT for me. So to see & hear someone as horrendous as Lil Wayne popping off about him even in the smallest manner, you know I got the itch to beat him with a bat. An ugly little human [and I use that loosely] who is known for kissing his father on the lips and spreading around his sperm like it's fcking Christmas cheer should not be commenting on anyone, especially someone of Michael's stature. You need to pay that child support, stop knocking bxtches up, and get your punk ass to rehab because sipping sizzurp is not cute...but then again it is Lil Wayne. I don't know why I am shocked by this. Can I really expect anything of substance to come from Lil Wayne's mouth? His raps don't show me that I really can [need I remind you of that 'Kiss Me' song that I laughed at in a past post?]. Don't call MJ a f*g, don't call anyone a f*g. That word is hideous and I honestly hate when people say it. Uh Lil Wayne, if you plan on continuing to kiss your daddy on his mouth, I'd lay up off the accusations of homosexuality. We all know a whole legion of people think you're gay. With that face I don't think the gays want you on their side anyway. Save us all from your seeds and become asexual. Honestly I have no clue how Lauren London and Nivea can carry children belonging to this man and be proud.

Fast forward this foolishness and listen at the 2:59 mark
The Raging Impregnator utters this tom foolery:

I pledge allegiance to the flag that Michael Jackson is a f*g.



Man!!!!!!!!

Eye Candy: My LMAO Moment Of The Week

I saw this video on Good Morning America this morning and I laughed so hard. These people are too cute and very creative. If I had to have a marriage ceremony, it would definitely be like this lol.

There Is Something Wrong With Me...

I've made it known that I am a secretary for different attorneys. I am basically a substitute if you will. I get a new assignment once I am finished with one I am given and noramally they last for 1 or 2 days, 3 of I'm lucky. This week I struck gold with a 5 day assignment at a relatively easy desk because these attorneys are fairly self sufficient and don't really ask much of me. All in all...I just sit here. I've been sneaking in some blogs but this computer prevents me from saving pics onto the computer so I can't go as wild as I would like to. When I am not blogging, I am reading a book, the newspaper, or catching up on some things on my favorite websites [most of which are not listed 'In The Corner']. When I am not doing those things I am just sitting. That's where my issue comes in. Every single day at this desk I hurt myself unintentionally. This is something I do often in my everyday life. Ask my friends about the many times I have walked into something, busted my ass in the hallways, hit my head, or gotten knocked out by falling objects from Asha's locker [-_-]. Hurting myself is what I do so I am used to it. However, this is not an everyday thing...until I met this desk.

Day 1: I squeezed my finger between the desk & my chair.
Day 2: I squeezed another finger between the desk & my chair.
Day 3: I under estimated just how far my head was from the shelves, leaned over to pick up my water bottle and then WAHDOOP! I slammed my head against the shelves.

Today is day 4 and day 5 is Monday...I am scared of what's coming. Will I fall this time? Will a large object fall from the cabinet and hit me? Will I get a paper cut?!?!?!?!?!?!

Who knows because I sure as hell don't.
I am scared of this desk.
I think it's possessed and is trying to kill me because it misses it's original owner.
Well you know what I say to this desk?
Fxck you desk, you ain't even real wood.
TEK DAT!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

I'm A Barbie Girl, In A Barbie World

'...packed in plastic is fantastic..."


The first black Barbie released in 1980


The first black doll, credited as the first black Barbie, made her debut to the world in 1967 by the name of Black Francie with friends Christie & Julia. She was created by using the old head molds of the white Francie doll and lacked black characteristics in termd of facial structure. The first official black Barbie was released in 1980 with an afro. A new line of Barbies titled the So In Style Barbie dolls are set for a Fall 2009 release and will be available in the UK next year. These dolls will have distinct black features, different personalities, and different skin tones [because we black folk do capture every shade in the brown spectrum]. Courtney, the cheerleader, has a fuller nose and fuller lips than regular Barbie; Trichelle, the doll who's personality is to be into art, has curly hair and Kara, who loves music, has a darker skin tone. The pictures below are just the samples so trust that there will be a change to skin tones and hair textures.


Trichelle and Janessa


Kara and Kiana


Grace and Courtney

Vogue Italia Fades To Black Once Again

In July 2008, Vogue Italia took notice of the lack of diversity in the fashion world and took it upon themselves to create the first Black Issue of Vogue. It was/is the best selling issue in Vogue's history. The idea for the Black Issue came from Franca Sozzani, who is also the mastermind behind this current issue honoring the black barbie. "Barbie has been an icon for whole generations which is why I really wanted to give a strong sign in step with the times, and dedicate the anniversary issue to Black Barbie” Franca Sozzani, Editor-in-Chief, Vogue Italia.

The July 2009 Vogue Italia is currently available.

























Okay Everybody Meet Mrs. Me Too...

First it was Cassie with the half head shave...


Then Lala swooped in and did the same...


Of course Rihanna had to out do everybody...


But not to be left behind Miss Soul-Angel herself, Solange, has jumped onto the gravy train but she went and knocked all of you out of the park with this one.


But how many of you know that Raven Symone did this a WHILE ago way back in October?



And if you ask me Amber Rose is the Queen of Bald-headedness because she came straight with it.


One cannot forget Kelis because she has always been on the edgy side of things and I would like to say CONGRATS! to her for successfully giving birth to her little baby boy Knight.



But the best shave off I have ever seen belongs to this little sweetheart right here


Gon' head lil Angel.

See I've wanted to shave part of my head for a while now because I used to be in deep with the punk world but I know myself and from past experiences, it would take AGES for my hair to grow back so thats a no go. Well they have money, they can afford lace wigs of the natural kind. But please stop this foolishness because there will be a million bald head girls walking around not knowing that their hair will possibly never bounce back.

Signed Slim.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Let's Play This Game...



I usually play this game with Roofie when I spot something that I know is far from the truth, makes me think, or is severely disturbing or wrong. This game is called Ponder. I would like for you guys to ponder with me if you will. Here, my friends, is a Dee & Ricky Cigarette Brooch. Cute eh? Yes, Yes it is. I'm all for supporting the arts and the creativity of my fellow black folk BUT! When I can go onto lego.com and buy these pieces my and construct them my damn self...wtf am I gonna pay $20 for this? Not saying this is in a bad way because these dudes are smart as hell. Order legos from lego.com in bulk for about $10 bucks [because these things are from .05 cents to 10 cents each], construct a bunch of hearts, ducks, and cigarettes and then proceed to charge people $75-$100 for a brooch or belt. Now that right there is entrepreneurship. Like who thinks to create belts, ties, & brooches with legos? Surely not I [I never owned my own legos except those big girly pastel ones]. And a cigarette made from legos? I think the idea is sick because once again I never thought of it. Hell I'd like to have one. I commend these guys whole heartedly but I will not be duped into this. My aunt has a glue gun and pin backs...I can make of these myself. These have been on sale for a month now by the way, I just happened to go onto hypebeast.com today and their blog was on the side with someone wearing the brooch. So kiddies I ask you to ponder this, would you pay $20 for this brooch or a $1.00 plus a very small fee [if any] of shipping and handling for the lego pieces to construct on your own? No hate at all, just meaning I have common sense.


Foot Candy: Step Into These Jays




I'm stepping into my girly phase now where I am loving heels more than anything at the moment but I cannot forget where my shoe obsession began: kicks. Sneakers were my initial choice of shoes because they are comfy and its my culture and apart of my style. I love to take girly outfits and sticking some sneakers in there to make it street. Well I would love to have these Jordans in my closet to jazz up some of my outfits. The Air Jordan Brand is celebrating its 25th anniversary in a classic way. All white is the direction they are heading in, plain but striking and pure. These are just samples and we all know how it goes when it comes to samples. Thanks Chris Paul for tweeting these pictures =].




Slim's sidenote: Those 11s are something serious.






Foot Candy: The Collection

Creative Recreation is stepping away from the sneaker tip for a minute and created an extention of the brand called The Collection. I am fond of the Orange/Gold & Black mini wedges and the what seems to be suede flats. The others I do like but I'll need a banging outfit to set them off. Those all black patent leather laced up mini wedges could definitely get the business. The mini wedges and suede flats are more everyday footwear. I'd like to see more of what they can offer from this section.









Knocked Up!




I mean I heard the rumors and I left them at that but...damn. Would you be proud to call Lil Wayne your baby daddy? And shame on Wanye for getting two chicks pregnant at the same time! That just wrong and def not a good example for anyone.

Why Are You Still Here?

There are some people who are constantly on gossip sites or on television that really have me wondering...why are you still here? You'll be sure to see some familar faces here:



Christina Milian


Every 5 minutes I see these two on a gossip site. I am tired of seeing your face Christina. At least Chicken Little [The Dream] has an album out and a hot song with Kanye West but what are you doing with your life? No clubbing, showing up at events, shopping and being glued to Chicken Little does not count. You are a singer and an actress [I use that term loosely]. Either get your ass in a studio or in a movie or get your ass out of the "lime light" because you are useless until that point. This is my belief on celebrities: unless you are singing or acting, stay your ass at home and do not emerge unless you are entertaining me. That's wtf you get paid for so do it. I get my ass up every morning for work but you do everyday shit and expect to get paid? EENK! WRONG! Get your life together heifer. Make music or disappear.

Ray-J


Don't even get me started on this one here. Brandy's little brother has been upsetting my eyes for a minute now. So you make a sex tape with Kim Kardashian and all of a sudden your famous and you have money? Well then Kim K make a stop at my house next time you're in NYC. Then VH1 went and gave this fool a show so he could display his hoe tactics and debauchery for the world to see. WHY? You have no album. You are not entertaining, you're a perv. The last song you had sounded like a cat being strangled in a dark alley. Ray-J is about as useless as New Jersey. Please do me a favor and disappear.

Paris Hilton


I've been wanting to remove her useless ass since I was in 8th grade. Do I really need to rant about this first crotch? BE GONE! If only the stars knew how luck they are that they are blind. [get it her song 'stars are blind'].

Spencer & Heidi


Words cannot express the dislike I harbor for these baboons. The epitome of useless. The epitome of everything that is wrong with the world. I have never seen people so desperate for fame and all they are gaining is hate but then again...people still know them. Heidi and her cheap videos and bad songs. Spencer and his bad attitude and leprachuan lookin ass. I cannot take them and their antics. They call up God's name in vain for their stupidity. I just don't know what to say. I just need them to GO AWAY! Tie some bricks to Heidi's boobs and let her sink in the ocean. Steal Spencer's little pot of gold. Just remove them.