No One On The Corner Got Swagger Like Us...

[The Watchmen via jak&jill]


Fierce is not the word. I swear the people in Europe are on another planet because they are always on some next shxt and I love it. Sir John Paul on the end has my pick for best outfit because even I would rock that. Brayvo. He is always looking chic.

*sigh*
I'm gonna stop reading this blog because it makes me sorely depressed.
One day I will be sighted at Paris Fashion Week...trust.
They have by far the best fashion shows out of every fashion capital of the world.
Check that Gianfranco Ferre show...sick.

ugh my body hurts.
Slim is outtie

Showing Off The Assets...

[via jak&jill]

See...things like this motivate me to get a job so I can kill folks with my style.
I must know where she got those!

The Final Days...

For these final days of March I would love to do my probable last post of March as an ode to March Madness. As I have said countless times, my babies UNC have made it to the Final Four and they will whoop ass and take the title over all. Period. I think the final battle would be between UCONN and UNC because they are obviously the best in the game right now.



Yuh dun know...
Skinny Bitch OUT!

Short Hair Don't Care.

[I've had that rocawear hoodie since 7th grade, it has holes in the elbows from all it has been through and I fkn love it so...hush lol]

Old pics from when I had my short hair...sometime in the end of February or early March because I bought those jeans in Washington DC [$10 from $98...I'm a fkn beast] so yeah. As for the first two...those were taken in January I believe before my birthday or after. I don't remember lol. Me liketh these pics so major props to the Harlem homie jay for these.

Um Asher Think Again...

Okay so mister Asher Roth thinks he loves college...he's wrong.
I love college...MORE!
I FRICKING LURVE ME SOME COLLEGE!
That is my theme song after this past week.
I went on this week long college tour and attended a different college a day, over night, and without adult supervision. Can you say jackpot?
So basically for five days I was a college student minus the work but with a whole lot of the drinking and puffing [not with me of course seeing as I do have asthma and I'm not big on alcohol].
Hehe I fxcks with college, I simply cannot wait.
We went from Bucknell to University of Rochester, from Colgate to Gettysburg, and finally to University of Richmond.
This trip has made me hate coach buses, females, and fast food but damn it, it has made me love college.
*sigh*
School on Monday which leads me one year closer to college.
August 2010 baby.

Pharrell Baby...Everything Will Be Alright

Are these people aware that Pharrell Williams aka my 4th boo is standing in their presence??? I would have given him anything he wanted out of the McDonalds free of charge. Smh some heifers just don't know. GIVE THE DAMN MAN A BURGER!

It's A Neo Thing

The creative juices are flowing as I chill in a Bucknell dorm so here's a lil taste. I started with the pumps and paved my way from there...




I think I like creating this stuff.
For me of course =]

Wii Killin Em'

Not the picture I wanted but Mr. Tristan Wilds [aka my actor boo] wore the Nintendo Wii inspired Nike Air Force II to a Wii sponsored event. Just thought it would be nice to feature him and all his flyness.

You Are Not Sasha Fierce

Now if this video does not scream Sasha Fierce then I don't know what does. Everybody is so quick to jump down Beyonce's throat the minute she borrows an idea from ages ago but Ciara's blatant copy of Beyonce goes unnoticed. Smh, y'all gon' leave Bey alone.

Where Are You Yeezy?

Check out Kanye West performing at SXSW in Austin, Texas along with Common, Kid Cudi, and Fonzworth Bentley. Of course Yeezy put on a great performance but what caught my eye in this pic are the Nike Air Yeezy. Lots of buzz about these kicks for a while now and everyone is anxious for when they are going to make their appearance in March. I am very excited for both the Yeezys and Kanye's Pastelle collection. It's gonna be crazy expensive but I will save up for a shirt lol.

these Yeezys glow in the dark =]

Mufasa?

Ya know...I give up. Walking around lookin like Mufasa's illegitimate cousin. BOO first lady of Cameroon!

Sheena Is A Punk Rocker

When I was in 7th and 8th grade I was into the punk thing pretty heavily. So I reverted to the old me for a little and came up with this as I was listening to The Ramones...



I would make it bigger but then it gets blurry =/.
I like it.
I think I did a slamming job.
Try me.

Eye Candy:: Female Sangers Edition

Two groups I have been hearing about lately: Electrik Red and Sophia Fresh.
I've heard Sophia Fresh on Music Choice many times and as for Electrik Red, I stumbled on them in December when I was googling a video model who happens to be a memeber of the group. Since Destiny's Child has disbanded, Cherish done feel off the side of the earf [like my bad engrish lol] and poor Danity Kane has been doomed to the legendary Bad Boy Records fate, there hasn't really been any girl groups out there. I like both of these groups so far. I think Electrik Red has a better song and possibly a better video but I like Sophia Fresh's swag and they have my booskis Day 26 in their video [love me some Que Que!]. Both of them seem to be on that simple neon video trend thingy but me likes it. Electrik Red reminds me of Vanity 6 so they get extra brownie points there.

I don't know, I seem to be the only person who knows they exist so you be the judge:

Electrik Red - So Good
Uploaded by UniversalMusicGroup

Sophia Fresh - "What It Is" Official Video

When Boredom Strikes...

So UNC is in the Sweet 16 [as I predicted] and I am sure Duke will be there too [they tend to do well lol]. Here is the friggin irony, I go on a college trip tomorrow and my section of the trip does not go to UNC or DUKE!!! Ugh! And I love those schools. They say the trip is just for me to experience small and big schools. I said I want medium -_-. Most of the schools are in the north. I said I wanted south -_-. It's whatever. The people who I can't stand are going on that trip anyway. I will do my best to enjoy my time at the 5 colleges, gather some valuable info on the schools, and bag some biddies.

As of now I am watching Phinneas & Ferb and I am laughing my ass off when I should be packing for the fxcking trip. My dad didn't even return my call to give me my ride >=/. And I am trying to download a free ringtone for my step pops on his iphone...status: fail -_-

-_-

Awww...

Kelis has to be one of the flyest pregnant women I have ever seen. She is walking around with a belly and still looking better than most chicks on a regular day. *applause* Dang...wtf am I gonna look like when I'm preggy? I'm small && skinny lol. I will be fashionable as hell tho, like my momma I will continue to rock heels...or kicks in my case.

ALRIGHT! off to watch the Syracuse game.

I am so ashamed of myself for missing the Duke game smh.

What The Eff...

Well I just peeped the 'Prom Queen' video by Lil Wayne and at the end of the video this song [the one above] came on. I am like what the fxck is this and then I go listen to it. I don't know why but this song makes me laugh sooooooo hard. It's the beat combined with the lyrics that has me in a roll.

Try me baby, Try me baby
I'm the shit, I'm the shit
Love me darling, Love me darling
don't you, don't you

Kiss me baby, Kiss me baby
I'm the shit, I'm the shit
Feed me mama, Feed me mama
I want you, I want you

Bless me angel, Bless me angel
Tick tick tick, you're the bomb
I will be your Vietnam
Tick tick tick, you're the bomb

The fck? CTFU! LMFAO!
So this is the best rapper alive huh?
Stupid people.

Brayvooo!

I just watched THE BEST SHOW EVER on t.v.
I hate mtv but this show is beyond my wildest imagination.
Take the Stage...I am in love. These kids are talented and get to dance every single day [my dream]. Ugh this makes me wanna go back to dance school like seriously. These kids broke out into a full on dance battle. I dream of moments like that in BFS but alas they are only dreams. The first episode was good in my book. They showed you who the characters were and had enough drama to not make you wanna puke. Seems a little scripted but I don't think it is. Hopefully it doesn't become as annoying as Laguna Beach was [smh @ me for watching 2 seasons of that bull].

Oh! and the hip hop dancer, Tyler, is a sexy mofo. I'd smash.

I also just watched Obama's interview on Jay Leno and may I say that I loved it. I love everything this man does but his interview was very normal. He spoke about the issues and still made jokes with Jay. Bottom line: good, no GREAT interview.

peesh from the slim one until something else catches my eye...

Eye Candy:: Snow Edition

Yo is it me or was Mark Wahlberg sexy as all hell during the 90s?
I mean he is still fine now, don't get me wrong he has that nice old head swag Brad Pitt has but!!!! during the 90s...he was looking all types of scrumdidliumsious. Both him and Brad Pitt.
You be the judge...

Brad Pitt

Mark Wahlberg

SMH @ folks my age for not knowing who Marky Mark and Funky Bunch are.

*jams to 'Good Vibrations'*

THE MADNESS OF MARCH!!!

I like basketball, I am alll about school spirit [lawd knows I attended every bfs game this year even tho we didn't win -_-]. I don't pay attention to the NBA unless its championship time or if I'm at a Knicks game. College basketball, however, I watch that constantly because I would love to go to a school where my team is sickkkk. I wanna see my team on ESPN. Trust I will be one of those fans painting my stomach and walking around in full school colors. I love school spirit because there is an excitement all in the atmosphere and there is a pride that is uncontrollable.

I am rooting for UCONN, Duke && UNC [my babies].
UCONN whooped ass with 103 and UNC is rocking with 101, Duke plays tomorrow I think...
I watched games on my television, cell phone, and laptop, that is how deep my March Madness goes.

UNC is gonna take it all and you can't tell me any different =D

Rest In Peace.

R.I.P Natasha Richardson.

This has been all over the news and it is such a sad situation. I remember her from one of my favorite movies [The Parent Trap] and I am so sorry to see her go in such a manner. I pray for her family especially her two sons. I hope she continues to grace them with her spirit and blessings.

This tragedy has made me appreciate my life and those I love around me. It also has made me wonder if Natasha Richardson's death could have been prevented. After her fall, she was said to be perfectly fine except for a small headache. But then it got worse and that's when she was rushed to the hospital. If she had went to the doctor right away, could she have been saved? Well my mother has always told me that people die when and how they are supposed to. It may sound brutal but that's what it is. People can get blown up by grenades but come back home and die from choking on food, it happens differently I suppose.

Sometimes I Wanna Be Your Lover...

Sometimes I wanna be your friend...

Man I don't know what the hell it is but you ever have a crazy attraction to a person? It's not that you like them or you probably do but you have an odeeee attraction to them? Man I don't know how to explain it but either I am deprived or I think this person is beyond friggin sexy AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHERE IT CAME FROM! That is the problem. I feel like it just popped up outta nowhere. Not that I am upset because it has been running in my favor but where the fxck did it come from? And it's not like homeboy is ugly, I have good taste *toots horn* but it's weird for me lol. I would explain but then I'm gonna have to talk about my life in depth and I am not doing that so WHOMP! However, *insert sneaky teenage eyes here* I have not been disappointed so I'm gonna see how far this can go...hehe.

Tell me again (Tell me again, my baby),
That we'll be Lovers and Friends (Ohh, it's a good look, baby)
Tell me again (Tell me over-and-over-and-over again),
That we'll be Lovers and Friends (Make sho' you right, before you choose)...

Bottom line: I'd smash.

=x

*update* hehe Slim: 1
Doubters: 0
smashedddddd LMAO.

Is There a Point...

When you just stop caring about what is going on in the world? I have stopped caring about this recession because it hasn't affected me like it has other folk. The same exact life style I have had before this recession is the very same that I have now. Money has never been my best friend but when we are together mannnn it's a wrap. If I hear one more story about the AIG bonuses I will scream. I don't care about AIG and their selfish ass bonus. Why? Because they aren't sharing their billions with me. What can I do about the corrupt world? I say banks shouldn't be bailed out anymore because they are full of bullshxt. AIG, Merrill Lynch, and Fanny Mae can all fxck off because honestly I am tired. This isn't affecting me personally but it is a fxcked up situation and I empathize with those who are affected. All of this money is given to you to help save your company and your clients and you are taking the money for yourself? Billion dollar bonuses. Million dollar bonuses. Billions in debt. Millions going broke. As for Bernie Madoff...I'd whoop his ass myself. People trust you with their money and you pocket all of it and then lose it. If I was one of his clients, I'd be in jail right now because he would be buried six feet under.

The love of money is truly the root of all evil.
Broke ass Slim is outtie..got sumptin in my eye =/

1:30 AM Thoughts...

So after that blocked phone call woke me up, I decided to stay up and watch Baldwin Hills.
I definitely missed this entire season and I'm actually glad I did [personal reasons lol]. This is the finale and I aside from my personal ish, I am really glad I missed this season because I cannot take some of these people. Like if I knew some of these people I think I would hit them.

Person #1: Tyler
Off bat she is a trifiling heifer. Bottom line. That type of girl could not be my friend and I commend Gerren for deading her.

Person #2: Justin
THIS FOOL! He sees Seiko with her fine ass boyfriend [sorry I had a moment] and now all of a sudden his stupid little feelings wanna come back. He pulls her aside and tells her how he feels after she announces that she might move in with her boyfriend in Las Vegas. He wants her to stop her life with someone who makes her very happy just because he MIGHT like her again. Meanwhile homie has Seiko's friend, Aysia, on the side chatting her up. That is selfish as all heck.

Person #3: Treason or Treson whatever the hell his name is
I just don't like him.

Welp! That's it for Baldwin Hills.

AND NOW FOR ANOTHER ANNOYANCE!

The Pope has said recently that condoms will not stop the spread the HIV/AIDS, but rather contribute to the spread of it. This is one of the very reasons why I do not mess with the Catholic church. I feel that they have a small minded outlook on the world and I cannot tolerate that. I respect certain opinions but sometimes it is straight ignorance. No condoms will not stop the spread of this std but it will help slow down and prevent the spread of it to an extent. They believe that condoms promote sexual behavior and this has to be one of the dumbest ideas ever. Humans are sexual beings. That is what we do and that is what we have sexual organs for. Fxck and have babies. Period. You are aware of your sexuality from a young age depending on your surroundings. I remember being in kindergarten knowing that sex was something that I wasn't supposed to do at my age. I didn't know what the hell it was exactly but I knew that it involved a man & a woman rubbing on each other in the nude lol. My kindergarten class swore that little Ian [he was fine as hell, we had a lil fling lol] and Stacy had sex in the bathroom because someone walked in on them half naked on top of each other. Coming to the sexual age in junior high or so, we did some shxt but condoms didn't influence us. Even now as a hormonal teenager condoms do not influence me to conduct sexual actions. It's those damn raging hormones! I personally think that television and music has something to do with teens doing sexual things these days but thats just me. However in general, condoms are not encouraging people to have sex so there is no reason the Pope should deny Africa, the continent with the highest HIV/AIDS rate, condoms for protection. Abstinence is not going to help in this case. There are a whole lot of things contribution to the spread of this disease in Africa but the knowledge and availability of condoms would sure as hell help stop it. Abstinence is just unrealistic in general. It's an utopian idea. Sure it works for some but for the majority it doesn't and in Africa, it is sure as hell not going to work. Believe what you want but I don't gel with Catholics because of beliefs like this.



Before I leave you all for the night remember: Jeans should be skinny, pockets should be fat. [lmfao I love Bally Total Fitness for that slogan]

PSA

OKAY! I get annoyed very easily and there are many many things that annoy THE HELL outta me. One of them happens to be when people call me from a blocked or private number. If your bxtch ass don't want me to know the number, why call? Like honestly that shxt is mad sus and I would think by now that whoever called me would realize that I NEVER answer blocked or private calls. I have a feeling its the same person calling because it is always around this time and I never answer. So dumb muthafxcka GET A CLUE! I'm not gonna answer the phone. If I don't recognize the number, I will answer just to see who it is [it's always some random person who I gave my number to lol] but if you coming at me on some covert shxt then you might as well not call. Ugh! Nothing annoys my soul more than this foolishness. 12:30 in the got dayumn morning, I am taking a power nap and your ass calls me and wakes me up to see a blocked number. Now not only am I angry but I am confused because I am like who in the west bubblefxck is this? Some nerve. This is a warning to you all. Especially since I LURVE my ringtone; don't make this shxt regular before I have to start hulk smashing negroes.

Ugh on another note, I am currently missing the HELL out of 3 people.
One has a girlfriend but we're still cool, the other is one of my best friends [gosh I miss her!] and the other is a very good friend of mine [I'm gonna leave it at that lol].
Why Lawd whyyyyy?

Well while I am talking about myself, I might as well let the world know that I am working on a remix to 'Brooklyn Girls'. Heard the song back in December but I finally got the instrumental [limewire can be a bxtch] and I'm in the process of downloading a pc version to garageband so...cheaaaa check youtube and the bloggy for that. I'm serious y'all, my new name is gonna be Mini Minaj lmfao! Nah but I need a rapper name though. I'm thinking of just regular ole' Slim but that damn 112 man is named Slim. SMH! OHHHH wait I remember this dude tried to holler at me and called me slim goodies [-_- yeah I wanted to hit him] so I might roll with that. I can see it now 'The Slim Goodies Mixtape'. I'm serious people! Check in my presidential blog where I remixed 'My President is Black' lol. I'm taking over the world like Pinky & the Brain suckers.

Slim is feeling a little creative...*hits play on that Cool Calm Pete*

A Fresh Batch of FMLs.

ONCE AGAIN not my failures but the loses of others that I enjoy laughing at:

1)Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediatly ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML [*shudder*]

2)Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML. [CTFU! LMMFBAO!!!]

3)Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML [you tight! lmao]

4)Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML [now that right there is some nxgga shxt smh]

5)Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML [this is why I refuse to fall asleep in school lol]

6)Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML [now this shxt right here, this shxt right here is some nxgga shxt]

7)Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML [say it with me: dumb..ass lol]

8)Today, I was talking to this hot girl I have dinner with every week. Lately she’s always telling me how she loves me and I do the same. Today she said: “The way we talk and act around each other, people would think we were dating.” My answer was: "Aren't we?". FML [oh no i just feel bad lol]

9)Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML [BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!]

10)Today, I had one of the worst panic attacks in years. I was worried nobody cared about me and that I had completely messed up my life. I was hyperventilating and crying hysterically. My mom walked by my room, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make those noises, at least shut the door." FML [mothers are not right i swear lol]

*A STOMACH TURNING SPECIAL*

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML [*PUKE*]

and something a little extra...

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

Catcha Fire...

I read this article on lemondrop.com and it was about the state of New Jersey's Cosmetology & Hairstyling Board wanting to ban Brazilian waxes because two women ended up in the hospital after waxing injuries. Now I am all for the state trying to protect people but there is a limit. Why the hell does New Jersey need to know if women are walking around like Big Foot or like a bald eagle? Are they gonna have random searches on the side of the road like they do to bags here in New York? I can see it now:

Cop: Ma'am I'm gonna need to conduct a search of the premisses.
Woman: Um...well..uh..you see what had happened was...
Cop: Bobby, looks like we got a hairy one here. Lock her up!

What type of fxckery would that be? New Jersey if you want your females walking around starting fires with their kitty kats by all means ban Brazilian waxes BUT if you value the well being of these women...you would leave them and their privates alone. Praise the LAWD I live in New York where you can do anything you want with your body and all you will ever receive is a dirty look.

I never talk about this stuff but this made me laugh really hard lol.

ABC Survey from Krys on fb

A
Age: 17
Annoyance: people, life, school

B
Beer: sure is something
Birthday: 1/23 [yes my b'day is a group of consecutive numbers]
Been In Love: Uh...something like it lol
Been on Stage: fa' sho since the age of 4
Best Friends: Krys, Shannei, Corinne, and of course the BFS heads
Best Feeling: Sleep and such *wink* lol
Blind/Deaf: Neither, if I was blind I wouldn't be doing this survey...

C
Candy: Watermelon flavored Jolly Ranchers
Color: Purple
Chocolate/Vanilla: Both, I'm down with the swirl
Chinese/Mexican: Chinese for lifeeee
Cake/Pie: Red velvet cake & Cheese cake
Continent to Visit: All of them cept Antarctica...
Cheese: Mozzarella & Jamaican Cheese

D
Day or Night: Night
Dancing in the Rain: Um never

E
Eyes: Mocha
Everyone's got to: Get to know me, I'm fkn amazing
Ever Failed a Class: Lawd french

F
First Thoughts Waking Up: "Aw fxck school, 5 more minutes"

G
Greatest Fear: Death at a young age, not being successful and losing my mom
Goals: FAME! I wanna live foreverrrrr
Gum: Yes?

H
Hair color: Looks like black but in the light it is brown
Height: 5'4"
Holiday: Christmas
How You Want To Die: When I am really old and crunchy in my sleep

I
Ice Cream: Coldstone's cake batter
Instrument: Air guitar and drums

J
Jewelry: Lip ring & earrings
Job: None...yet

K
Kids: Four- two boys, two girls. if not, two -a boy & a girl
Kickboxing or Karate: Kickboxing.

L
Love: doesn't live here anymore
Laughed So Hard you cried: too many times

M
Milk: wif cereal please
movie: The Barbershop
McD's/BK: Depends but I like McD's more

N
Number: 2
Number One Wish: To make the most out of my life.

O?
[wait back track...you can have quail for Q but nothing for O? lazy ass survey maker]

P
Pepsi/Coke: Neither, I don't like soda unless it's orange or ginger ale
Perfect Pizza: Cheese with pasta
Piercings: Ears and lip

Q
Quail: Haven't seen one before

R
Reason To Cry: Anger and sadness
Reality T.V: is stupid and needs to end
Radio Station: hot 97 and 105.1 in the art room
Roll Tongue in Circle: Yurp
Ring Size: Girl idk

S
Song: Cold Pillow
Shoe Size: 8.5 Womens, 6.5 Boys
Salad Dressing: This yellow one from costco
Sushi: hate it
Sing in the Shower: yes ma'am

T
Tattoos: No tengo y no quiero.
Time For Bed: all day every day!
Thunderstorms: Are scary.

U
Unpredictable: Slightly hehe

V
Vacation Spot: Always wanted to go to Bermuda

W
Weakness: H&M, sneakers, shoes, BIG PURSES [omg i love me a big bag]
Which Friends Act Most Like You: They all do in one way or another
Worst Feeling: Let's not talk about this
Wanted To Be a Model: Used to be one when I was a kid, still wanna be one shoooo free shxt!
Worst Weather: SNOW!

X
X-Rays: Never had one

Y
Year It Is Now: 2009
Yellow: is pretty and bright

Z
Zoo: doesn't have giraffes >=[

FML.:: Sex Edition

Prepare to laugh your ass off...literally. You already know the drill, not my failures in life.

1)Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML [BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA]

2)Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

3)Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one smallest penis I have ever seen." FML [FAIL!]

4)Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have our first "Cybering" experience. I downloaded Skype per his instructions, and hooked up my cam. Just as everything started getting hot and heavy, I farted. He stopped and frowned. I had no idea it was a video AND voice program. FML

5)Today, my boyfriend called, asking, before I could even talk, to bring a condom- NOW. I had to smile at this request. I went to his house. A blond girl opened the door. He followed shortly, surprised to see me. I'm Celine. She's Cecile. Our names are one apart on his cell. She's my sister. FML [females ain't shat! especially family smh]

6)Today, me and my boyfriend were just about to have sex and I was so excited to do it just like the movies. He carried me up and just as he was about to lay me on the bed he sneezed, dropping me at the same time. I hit my head. Now I have 12 stitches where my eyebrow used to be. FML

7)Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML [LMFAO! that was righteous]

8)Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML [So maybe Chris Brown can use that alaby? I was wrong for that one lmfao]

9)Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "Be my baby's daddy!" I couldn't get out in time. FML [Trappin' ass bxtch lol]

10)Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML [Now that right there is some niggashyt smh]

*Trifilin' Bxtch Special*
Today, I found out that I am 14 weeks pregnant. The father of the baby is now engaged to my best friend, whom he was cheating on me with when I became pregnant. I'm going to be the maid of honor, 8 months pregnant with his child, at their wedding. FML

FML.

Not my fails but the loses of others that I find hilarious...

1)Today, my mom came to me and asked if I had drank her wine. I'm 16, so I lied and said "no". The next morning there was a DVD on my bed labeled "pool house security cameras- love mom. It was a video of me downing two bottles of red wine and having sex with my boyfriend. FML

2)Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomache hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and proceeded to take a huge dump. Turns out I chose the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

3)Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I undressed and then proceeded to throw up all over the rug. FML

4)Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

5)Today, an old girlfriend from years ago wanted to have lunch. Seeing as I had nothing to do, I went with her. She introduced me to her son. Apparently I am the father. My son is 6. FML

7)Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML [see I woulda gave mom dukes the one finger salute]

8)Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while, and my dad said, "honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

9)Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!". I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

10)Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

I Like Expensive Thangs...

I am a girl with champagne taste but beer money.
I do cheap, lawd knows I do cheap [ask my friends, I am the sale queen!] but sometimes the expensive things look like they belong hidden in my jacket so I could run like hell when the alarm goes off. No I do not steal but I would steal this Chanel Perspex briefcase. This was used on the runway and hopefully it was not just a prop...wait nevermind hopefully it was because I can't afford it lol. Do you see that? No words can explain how I feel towards this item more than it belongs in my hands because I can save the world with it. Karl Lagerfeld is a wonderful man and as long as he lives I shall love the House of Chanel...from a far =/.

I think you should buy this for me.
Why?
'Cause the skinny bxtch fkn said so.
Duh.

I Got V On It Pt. 2

Here are some better pictures of the Red V's from the Raging Bull Package aka DMP 2.
Price: $310
Date: Who knows but I am seeing May 30th

New Segment: FML.

Okay last one I swearrrrrr!!!
Everyone has finally discovered fmylife and as much as I tried to keep it a secret it obviously failed so...enjoy this one.

"Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML."

LMFAO!
Poor you perv.

Alright the last one I swear...

GOOD LUCK TO ALL MY HEADS TAKING THE SATs TODAY!
YOU GUYS AND GIRLS ARE BRAVE [because my ass chickened out lol].
I'll pray for all of you and may the Lord be with you all because I know I will need him with me.

Foot Candy:: Just Because I Can

Alright I am just posting these because:
1) These are the best looking Bapes I've ever seen and I hate Bapes with a passion.
2) These Jordans would look good on guys and certain girls, I don't know if I like them yet.



These Bapes are available on March 6, check the website.


As for the Jays...I am too lazy to talk about them so:

Pictures of the Air Jordan VI (6) Motorsports recently popped up where the sneakers were placed side by side with its Motorcycle counterpart. The bike is featured in a black and white paint job and cement print. The same can be said for the Air Jordan VI which is modeled after the bike. The majority of the upper consists of white leather and is accompanied by black on the midsole, sole and laces. Cement print is placed on the inner lining and Air Jordan is found on the tongue in red and yellow. A release date has yet to be confirmed, but stay posted for more info.

[via Sneakerfiles]

I changed my mind, after one more look I think I like these.

I have a meeting uptown at 2, meaning I gotta get up by 12...oye good luck to me its 4:42 am.

Foot Candy:: Nike Edition

Blazers are back in 2009 with a vengence.
I know I said I don't buy sneakers anymore but these Blazers are fxcking gorgeous like I can see myself in them. The outfits in my head are endless like fat woman's appetite. To kick shxt off I'll begin with the Nintendo Wii Blazer High:


These Blazers are apart of the Nintendo Wii Package along with Air Force IIs High. These have no affiliation with Ninetendo but they are inspired by the gaming system [pay attention to the details, example: the power sign on the tongue]. They are supposed to be released during the summer but who knows when it comes to sneakers. I like these a lot. They are normal with a hint of unique. The colors are especially pleasing for me seeing as I have a thing for orange. I see a lot of females in these simply because of the colors and I just think they would look better on a woman [men have huge feet lol].

These next few blazers are from the Spring 2009 collection:

I love these to the end especially the first, third to last and final pairs.

I Got V (5) On It

If you don't get the title, you're a lame.
If you do...thank you for knowing the damn song.
EN-TEE-WHO! Jordan heads, come alive s'il vous plait!



The Jordan packages have been very successful and the success will continue to thrive thanks to the Raging Bull Pack that is set to come out by May 30, 2009. There is no set date but that is the one that they are aiming for. The package contains two pairs of Jordan Vs: a red suede upper pair with a black midsole and a 3M tongue AND a pair of black 3M, black laces, and red details. These seem more like a male oriented package because of the colors and I could see a few guys I knowin them. I don't know if I see chicks in these unless they have really small feet or a certain swag about them.

WAIT! THERE'S MORE...

I personally hate patent leather on sneakers. I think it makes them look so cheap and cheesy. It's the reason I hate Bapes [apart from the fact that they are just plain ugly]. They do come in handy as rain shoes but still I've never owned a pair in my life. Patent leather on Jordans is not my ideal thing [I used the Dub Zeros as rain shoes lol] but these V's look AMAZING! Maybe it is because I have a thing for orange and white but these look really good. The white base has a dark army midsole, an icey sole, a dark cinder tongue, del sol on the insole and Jumpman on the tongue. I would cop honestly. I saw these and my eyes lit up with excitement and I think your's will too. There are no set release date for these but when there is one best believe it will be in my calendar and there will be an alarm on my phone. However, June of this year is the projected month of release.

I don't buy sneakers anymore but those who do, rejoice!

why?

'Cause this skinny bxtch said so.
[pics via sneakerfiles]

Louis Vuitton the Kanye Way

The Jasper's


So a few days ago I peeped the Kanye West X Louis Vuitton kicks and I must say I do like some of them. I am personally fond of the Jasper's because they are high tops and they sorta remind me of Supras in a weird way. The colorways are good and soothing to the eye AND of the three that I have seen, I could see myself in all =] . They look like they would feel soft on your feet [don't ask me why I am thinking these things but damn it they look like it!]. The Don's are alright, I see those mostly of males and the Mr. Hudson I am not fond of at all. The Mr. Hudson's were the first models Ibelieve, well at least those are the ones I remember seeing first. The whole dock shoe craze annoys me to be honest. However...these prices. Ye I know it's Louis V and all but you're gonna have a legion of public school children and fans going broke to buy these shoes. Food will not be eaten, rent will not be paid, blood & bone marrow would be sold just for these shoes because we all know how it goes once it comes to sneakers. And to make matters even worse this is a Kanye West & Louis Vuitton combo...not healthy for the hood economy. But I give them good reviews over all. They are unique and SOOOO much better looking than the hot mess they have in the Stephen Sprouse collection [I hate those space boot looking sneakers, the pumps however I fxcks with]. Yay for Ye.

But those who can afford, enjoy the fruits of Mr. Kanye's labor.
I am not in this group *tears*.
Skinny bxtches gotta eat.



The Dons [Also available in Red (as seen on Kid Cudi), Off-white, & Black w/ suede]

The Don

Jasper's continued...